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Chapter Nine
The problem with spending so much time with roommates is that you get to know them on a deeper level than students you are only in class with two to three times a week.
You begin to develop a friendship that’s deeper than just an acquaintance.
My friendship with Jake is based solely on the fact that we are roommates, but even then, I wouldn’t do or say anything to hurt him.
Not only would that make living here miserable, but seeing him hurt by my words or actions would make me feel horrible.
I feel stuck right now.
It feels like there is no way for me to turn this situation around.
If I lie and tell him I have feelings for him, then it will cause unnecessary drama when the truth eventually comes out.
Not to mention, it will be awkward when he hears me talking about Damien or even sees us together.
If I tell him the truth that I only like him as a friend, it will change the dynamic of our suite. Instead of me being the peacemaker between Mara and Jake, Mara is going to have to bridge the weirdness between Jake and me.
Either that, or Jake will immediately become an outsider and stay in his room more than he usually does.
I know things will be awkward for a little while after telling him the truth, but it really is for the best.
“Did you hear what I said?” Jake asks quietly.
His large smile falters for a moment before returning. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy before.
“Yes. I’m sorry for not responding immediately. I am trying to process everything that you said and not speak without gathering my thoughts.”
My head spins as my brain replays the words he just spoke.
Wow!
He likes me.
He really likes me. But have I ever indicated that I like him?
My heart beats faster as an overwhelming sensation washes over me.
“Well?” He asks after a few more moments.
I just have to speak the truth and hope he takes it well and things don’t become weird between us.
“Well, that was quite the confession. It was well thought out and honestly so sweet, and someday, some woman will love to hear those words come out of your mouth.” I pause as my words sink in.
His face turns from smiling with hope to a frown full of sadness. Disappointment crosses his face as I continue to speak from my heart.
“You are a good friend, Jake, and a great roommate. I couldn’t ask for someone better. You are so caring and clean, but I have to be honest with you. My heart belongs to someone else at the moment.”
Damien has my heart. My whole heart, and no matter what is going on between us, he always will.
“Jake, as your friend, I can’t lead you on and give you hope while I am not one hundred percent invested. It wouldn’t feel right and would only end in disaster with both of us hating one another.”
I stop rambling as he stands and walks towards the front door.
Spinning around, he asks, “Who is he? Who’s the guy you are in love with? How come you haven’t spoken about him all year?” He speaks quietly as his voice is close to cracking with emotion.
Why is Jake suddenly interested in who I may or may not be dating?
