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And what does that have to do with me not feeling the same way about him?
Why can’t Jake accept my non-feelings for him and move on?
I try to keep my tone even and emotionless, but I fail. Annoyance and impatience creep in.
“Will me answering your questions help this situation? Will knowing who I am in love with make you feel any better? Will it make me feel less shitty than I do right now?”
Pure, red-hot anger replaces the hurt and sadness in his eyes as his hands form tight fists.
He angrily growls out. “Are you even dating or in love with anyone? Or are you just using that as an excuse not to date a geek?”
What?
Is he serious?
“Jake, you being a geek has nothing to do with my feelings. At all!” I yell out. “I really am in love with someone. It’s just that things are still new with my relationship.”
Or lack of one. I mentally roll my eyes.
“I met him over spring break and we fell in love. It was very fast, but it was love. These things happen. I am sorry that I don’t reciprocate your feelings, but that’s no reason to ruin our friendship.”
And make living together for the rest of the school year awkward.
Jake’s face looks surprised I yelled at him, or maybe it was that I spilled details about my relationship. Either way, he is frozen in his spot and glaring at me.
After a few tense moments, he concedes. “You’re right, Shaela, and I’m sorry. I will just go to my room and give the two of us some necessary space so I can process all of this.”
He walks the rest of the way to the door and turns the handle before pausing. “Goodnight, Shaela.”
Once I hear the front door close, I let out a big sigh and grab my phone.
Although he hasn’t talked to me all week, I could use some of Damien’s wisdom right now, or just his dick to occupy my mind and help me get rid of these horrible feelings that are floating around inside me.
I type a message asking him to call or text me back as soon as he can because I really need to talk to him right now. I make sure I mention it is not related to our relationship or him ignoring me all week.
Hitting the send button, I lean my head back and close my eyes.
This is not how I pictured tonight going. Never in a million years did I ever imagine Jake confessing his feelings for me.
Mara’s voice sounds from the sidewalk in front of our porch. “Well, that was disastrous.”
I open my eyes to look at her.
She has her hand on her hip and a smirk on her face.
Chuckling, I say, “Yeah, tell me about it. I feel like complete shit, and I did nothing wrong. I never wanted this to happen, especially this close to finals and graduation. Could I have seen this coming? Because he completely blindsided me.”
I could see the hurt in his eyes, the disappointment and anger swirling in the mix.
Mara plops herself down in the chair that Jake had been occupying.
“First off, I’m so damn proud of you. Second, fuck him, not literally though, because he would enjoy the hell out of that. Third, he wants to make you feel bad because you don’t share the same feelings. That’s total bullshit.”
She glances around before continuing. “It’s not your fault you don’t want him. You found someone you love, there’s nothing wrong with that. Stop feeling bad for him and think about yourself for a change.”
I look backwards through the living room window to see Jake’s bedroom light peeking out from under the closed door before turning back towards Mara.
A smile replaces her smirk. “Although, you have always been super nice to him and always include him in things like breakfast and movie nights, so you can’t really blame him for having feelings for you.”
