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“I don’t see what that has to do with starving Nathan and me,” Crew says.
Because again, everyone gets to be an asshole but me. “Maybe I’m just in my asshole era. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Wow,” Crew says.
“I’ve seen you order a single pack of M&Ms for home delivery,” I tell him. “You’re not going to starve.”
“That is not the point.”
“What is the point, McNeill? What did you think we were doing here if we weren’t aiming toward marriage and kids?” I demand. “Playing house?”
“That’s not fair,” Crew says. “We are in a relationship. That’s what we’re doing.”
Nathan, who is dressed casually in joggers and a sweatshirt, runs his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. “Danielle said she’s staying at Luna’s again tonight. Can we just agree to stay out of each other's way until she gets home?”
I turn off the stove and take a deep breath. I’m frustrated with the whole situation. Last night by the river with Dani was one of the best moments of my life, and I feel like these guys stole it from me.
Yes, I should have talked to them first.
But in that moment, it would have been nice to just have their support.
“Yes, I’m more than happy to stay out of your way. I think I’m going to stay at my apartment tonight,” I announce. “I agree that we all need space.”
“Your apartment?” Nathan frowns. “What apartment?” Then it seems to sink in and he stares at me. “You still have your apartment?”
I nod. “Yes, I haven’t gotten a decent offer on it, so I told the agent to just take it off the market.”
Crew actually puts his phone into his pocket and eyes me. “Why?”
“I figured I would just keep it as an investment until interest rates go down again.” I don’t like the way they’re looking at me. “What? It was a business decision.”
“Are you sure that’s all it was?” Nathan asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you thought you needed a place to go if this all went south?” he asks.
Crew swears under his breath.
“Maybe.” I shrug. That very well could have been subconscious on my part. I can admit that. “This is all a huge commitment for four people to make together. To all be in agreement and on the same page. And clearly we’re not. Last night proved that.”
“But you didn’t tell us,” Crew points out.
“Because the dad can’t share everything,” Nathan says. “The dad has to hold it all together.” He gives a sigh. “Listen, Michael, we joke about that being your role, but it doesn’t have to be. We’re all adults.”
“None of us are acting like adults today.” Even me. Anger deflating, I point to the pan. “The chicken is cooked and it’s in the fridge, already cut into strips. Just warm it up with the vegetables. The tortillas are in the oven.”
I don’t know what I’m feeling.
But I understand Dani’s decision to take some time away a little better. It’s hard to think with so many voices in your ear. I suddenly don’t know what my role is in this relationship. Or maybe even what I want it to be.
I do know I don’t want to feel frustrated with these guys I've come to care about as true friends.
Crew goes to the fridge and pulls the door open. “Let’s just eat dinner.”
Something has been nagging at me. I turn to Nathan. “Why didn’t you tell us that you couldn’t have kids?”
“It never came up.”
