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With a resigned sigh,he looked over at him. He’d showered and changed into a thick,red sweater; his hair brushed back from his face. He’d evenshaved and there was a bright light of anticipation in his eyes."What's this?"
"What do youmean?"
"This failingattempt of polite talk. From what I recall, you were never one totalk or communicate." Taking up the glass of wine, Nash took asip, his expression one of cynicism.
"I’mtrying to make an effort."
"No doubt a moveinspired or encouraged by your therapist. I agreed to the dinneragainst my better judgment and don’t need to talk."
"I have told youhow sorry I am-"
"And I’verepeatedly mentioned that I don’t need your apology. What'sdone is done and nothing can change that."
"I was maddenedwith grief."
"You took it outon an innocent child." Nash's mouth twisted with bitterness.
"I loved yourmother." Silas' hand trembled as he replaced his wineglass."When I lost her, I wanted to die. I couldn’t functionwithout her."
"So, instead oftrying to be there for your son, you decided to blame me for causingher death. What the hell kind of father does that shit?"
"I wasn’tthinking." Silas compressed his lips and gave his son a pleadinglook. "I did you a hell of a wrong and I want to make it up-"
"How?" Nashgave him a mildly curious look, unmoved by the desperation he saw onthe man's face. "Just out of curiosity, how do you plan on doingthat? Are you going to go back in time? Are you going to erase thevicious beatings brought on by your drinking?
The hunger I had toendure when you would go on one of your binges? The time I spent outon the streets, enduring the elements? How are you going to fix allthat?"
The silence followingthat coldly delivered statement was fraught with tension.
"You’reright." There was a look of absolute resignation on his face."There’s nothing I can do that will make up for the way Itreated you. I hope that, in time, you’ll be able to forgiveme."
"Time willtell." Nash said with an indifferent shrug as he resumed eatingthe meal.
Silas had no choicebut to follow suit, even though his appetite had disintegrated. He’dspent years trying to grasp the fact that he’d failed as afather.
His son had acted outof a sense of obligation when he found him and paid for him to go torehab. Nash had told him bluntly he’d make sure he had a placeto live and food to eat. "It's more than I ever had from you."
He'd bought a houseand installed him in it and it was a beautiful stand-alone place in avery nice neighborhood. There was a big yard where he would potteroutside in the gardens or invite a few friends over for a barbecueand beer. He’d invited his son over several times, but theinvitation had been flatly refused.
He had a housekeeperwho took care of his every need and, over the past few months, thatrelationship had become more than that. Hilda was now sharing his bedand offering him some sort of comfort. The woman was a widow in herfifties. The arrangement was convenient for both of them.
His one true love hadbeen Margaret and he was never going to open up his heart to anotherwoman. Besides, he was too old and tired. All he wanted was for hisson to extend his forgiveness so that, when the time came, he’dgo to his maker with a clear conscience.
Chapter 8
She made herselfbright and cheerful when she went to pick up her mother from thenursing home and engaged in the animated chatter all the way back toher place. She’d cleared out the room she used as an office anddragged in an air-bed to sleep on while she let her mother use herbedroom.
She’d spentlast night and this morning to do some major cleaning. She’dalso busied herself doing her accounts, depositing her check, andcheering herself up by staring at the amount in her account.
She’d also gonegrocery shopping at the local market to purchase the things sheneeded for the meal. Michael was coming over as well, which was agood thing, she told herself.
She’d criedseveral times last night and this morning and found herself hopingshe was pregnant but dismissed it immediately. She wasn’t thetype of woman to trap a man into being with her. That would beirresponsible of her. He was no doubt regretting what happenedbetween them by now.
She was going tospend the holiday in enjoyment. She’d be with her mother andbest friend. It had to be enough.
"My dear, youbought a tree." Her mother exclaimed in delight as they steppedinto her small living room. "And decorated it."
"You know how Ilove Christmas." Shrugging out of her jacket, she took the oneher mother handed to her and hung them both on the coat tree. "Howabout some hot chocolate? It's freezing out."
