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"No, but Ipromised I would be there. I’ll stay for dinner and then go onto the club."
"You couldalways come back here." She suggested casually, wrapping theblack shawl around her shoulders.
His eyes settled onher face with unnerving intent and had her shifting from one foot tothe other. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Yet, I have afeeling that's exactly what you are going to do." Moving towardsthe cabinet, she poured herself some of the scotch.
"My life iscomplicated now."
"And it wasn'tbefore?" She had her back turned to him because she couldn’tbear to see the pity in his eyes.
"No." He’dcome up behind her without her realizing until he placed his hands onher shoulders to turn her to face him. "I care about you. Alwayswill. You’re the only one I’ve ever said that to. I’llbe there for you for whatever you need, but I can’t be what youwant, Miriam."
"Because of myage." She whispered. He brushed that aside impatiently.
"I don't give adamn about that and you know it." His fingers gripped hershoulders as he pulled her in for an embrace before letting go andstepping back. "I can’t love you. I’m not capable ofloving anyone and you know why."
"I don't care-"
"Yes, you do."He ground out. “Stop kidding yourself. You’re a beautifuland intelligent woman. You’re creative, talented and deserve aman who’s going to appreciate what you have to offer. I’mnot that guy, and I never will be. If this is uncomfortable for you-"
"No."Putting away the drink, she took his hands in hers. "I can’tlose you."
"You won't."His eyes searched hers intently. "But I can’t be with youthat way again. It's not fair to you."
"Is there - isit Jacqueline?"
He smiledhumorlessly, pulling his hands away from her and walking back to themantle. "No. She’s just a friend."
"There issomeone, though." She deduced.
"Is there?"He murmured, taking a sip of his drink. "There was a moment ofinsanity, but I woke up. It's over, it's madness and it shouldn’thave happened." He took another sip, a longer one this time."Open the box." He urged.
She did soreluctantly to stare at the dazzling emerald and ruby braceletnestled in its black velvet bed. She felt no joy, because she knewinstinctively it was a goodbye gift.
*****
"I’meating much better now." The comment was offered in a hesitanttone of voice that drew Nash's attention. He’d left Miriam,knowing she was far from satisfied with their arrangement goingforward.
He hadn’t toldher the full story of why he couldn’t be with her. Theimpression of another woman was stamped so deep that the idea oftaking Miriam to bed had become distasteful. He supposed he would gether out of his system as time passed. He was hoping it would besooner than later.
He couldn’tfire her, that would be disastrous for the company. He’d madethe colossal mistake of having sex with her and had done so in theheat of the moment, something he’d never done before.
Now, he was going tohave to live with it and hope to God that it ended here. He was goingto have to work with her, but he’d keep their encounters to aminimum and hope she would be adult enough to deal with it.
There was no reasonfor them not to behave in a professional manner. It had happened, itdidn’t make sense trying to go back.
"Pardon?"Shaking himself out of his reverie, he glanced at the older man satacross from him. The housekeeper had outdone herself and the spreadon the table would have served six people. He didn’t approve ofsuch lavish display, always mindful of the times over the years whenhe’d been starving.
"My appetite hasincreased. The doctor gave me some supplements and some iron tabletsthat are helping."
"Good."Nash dug into his baby potatoes with a lack of interest and wonderedhow soon he could excuse himself.
"It's good tosee you."
His only response wasa grunt as he continued eating.
"You’relooking well." The old man was determined to get a response outof him.
