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“Odette-“
“No. Pleasedon’t say anything. Go and see her or don’t – I nolonger care.” Heaping the clothes into her arms, she dumpedthem into the suitcase and closed the lid.
“I won’tlet you leave. We can work this out.”
“No.” Sheshook her head. “I’ve tried and it’s not working. Ineed some time alone.” She lifted the suitcase off the chairand faced him. “I have my next appointment next week, if youcan make it- “
“Odette,please, don’t leave like this.” His hands gripped herarms, his fingers digging into her skin. “I have conflictingfeelings about her and I-“ He closed his eyes briefly. “I’msorry.”
“I know.”Her expression softened. “But I deserve more. Until you’reready for a relationship, and I mean absolutely sure, I have toleave.”
Leaning in, shekissed his cheek. “Please don’t try and contact me. Ifthere’s anything the matter with our baby, if I’m feelingeven a little off, I’ll contact you.” Pulling out of hisarms, she lifted her suitcase.
“It’slate.”
“Not that late.Goodbye. Dion.”
He let her go. Hefigured he could have gone after her and begged her to stay, but heneeded the time as well. He felt like a coward for letting the bestthing that had ever happened to him just walk out of his life, but heneeded the time.
So much hadhappened since he’d been with Amelia, all of the mess, thehumiliation, the uncertainty, the conflicting emotions, the rollercoaster he’d been on for what seemed like a very long time.
When he’d askedOdette the favor of being his surrogate, he hadn’t envisionedanything than her doing him the favor as a friend. He hadn’tthought he might get involved with her. Now he had these feelings allover again and he was shaking with fear.
Turning toward thecabinet, he splashed some more alcohol into the glass and took itback with him to the sofa where he sank down, his shoulders hunched.She was right, he was going to have to sort things out with himselfbefore he tried to convince her to come back to him.
*****
She didn’t cryuntil she was back home. The place felt empty and strange and shewondered if it was because she’d spent so little time here overthe past three months. Letting herself in, she went into the kitchento put the kettle on. Getting out the green tea, she allowed thesimple task to settle her mind, but it was difficult.
He hadn’t comeafter her. She’d sat in his driveway, waiting and hoping thathe would. She’d kept looking at the entry to see if he wasrushing out and insisting on her going back with him, but he hadn’tcome out to her. Which told her she’d made the right choice.
It was killingher he was probably still in love with that worthless bitch. Thewoman had hung him out to dry and it didn’t matter. She was theone carrying his baby and had told him repeatedly she was in lovewith him and it didn’t matter. The bitch had a hold over himthat was unusual and difficult to break. She couldn’t stand it.She’d started feeling sick. She’d felt it on her driveover and it’d gotten increasingly worse.
She was hoping thetea would settle her stomach. Pouring the water over the pouch, sheconcentrated fiercely and tried hard not to allow the tears to fall.She felt the distinct feeling of jealousy in the pit of her stomachand was trying to squash it.
She wanted him tolove her, to think of her – only of her. She couldn’tbear competing with that sick bitch. She was wondering if, when theymade love, he was thinking of her.
Curling her handsaround the cup, she allowed the heat to seep into her skin. He’dcalled her name in the throes of his climax and had been desperate inhis lovemaking.
What if, in some far recesses of his mind, he wasremembering what they did in bed?
Should she have triedto be that way for him? Introduced the violence he was accustomed towith her? No! She dismissed that immediately. She wasn’t aboutto change her principles for a man, no matter how much she loved him.She loved him so much it was like a physical pain inside her chest.
She wanted him tolove her – but she was going to stay away from him until heworked things out. The tears fell then and it was as if a dam hadbeen broken. Pushing aside the cup of tea, she cried until it felt asif her heart was breaking.
*****
“Are youalright?”
“Just aheadache. What have we got?” He’d only slept for twohours last night and was feeling the effect of it. After a few hoursof tossing and turning, he’d decided to sleep in one of theother rooms.
Ilene stared at herson closely, noticing the shadows under his eyes and the drawn lookon his face. He looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink.
“How’sOdette?”
“She’sfine.” He waved an impatient hand and went to pour a cup ofcoffee. “Well?”
“She’sagreed to the terms and I have to voice my objection to you going tosee her. What is that going to accomplish?”
