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But she could never know how utterly in love with her he was, and she especially couldn’t know how long he’d been harboring that love.
He sighed and pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “I wanted to check in. I pulled some extra shifts at Will’s and had a couple web design projects pay out.”
“You didn’t need to.” His mom’s shoulders fell, her face stone. But her eyes… Dragan always saw the apology in them. He was sure her marrying an American had been done out of love as much as the desire to stay in a country her family had praised so highly. But the reality was so much darker.
“I wanted to.” He slid the envelope across the table, not meeting his brothers’ eyes. He’d been the one to carry their family when their dad couldn’t — his brothers at least had each other.
“We got it, D.” Leon’s voice was husky. “You don’t need to keep taking care of us.”
“It’s just a little something.”
“Well, we don’t need it. We don’t need your help.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Leon.” Dragan stood. That was his cue. “Mom, where’s Alice?”
She shook her head and waved her hand, turning to the fridge. “I don’t know, that girl alvays running off. You vant soup? I maderosóllast night.” Before Dragan could respond, she pulled out the container and was digging for a bowl.
“No, thanks. I should be heading out.” He went to give his mom a hug but stopped short — she didn’t like to be touched and there was no mistaking the small flinch beneath his arms the couple of times they did hug — turning instead to give brotherly shoulder pats to Cas and Lucas. Leon brooded in the corner, his mom crossing her arms and giving Dragan a small smile. A sad smile.
“Okay, but don’t forget Grandma Zofia and Nadia and Tomasz and the kids are coming this veekend and vill be staying with us for two weeks. And you are velcome home anytime, my son. Drive safe.”
Right. “Thanks, I’ll catch you guys later.”
As he left, he heard his mom grumbling about not knowing that phrase, her voice thankfully at a steady volume as Dragan walked through the creaking, dusty house. He’d forgotten about his Polish family coming to visit, and their incessant questions on what he was doing with his life and why he wasn’t married already. Mainly from his grandma, who he knew meant well. But it was a mounting pressure he didn’t need. Anger spiked through him at having to navigate all the excuses for why he didn’t even have a girlfriend he could introduce. He looked around the house that substituted for a home, noticing chipped paint and the stair’s newel post cap, finally missing after years of them picking it off and tossing it around like a baseball. Dragan shook his head and left, closing the door behind him.
He had never brought a girl home, and for good reason.
The group outside of the Miller’s was still there, only this time with beers in hand. His dad’s old car still missing. No sign of Alice.
This was the sense of normalcy he grew up with, and as he got into his car to head back across town, he allowed himself to dream of a different normal. One where his mom didn’t carry so much sadness, his siblings were on good paths, and he felt safe.
And maybe one where he was worthy of loving his best friend, and being loved by her in return.
2
Flipping theOpensign toClosed, June Beaumont locked The Little Prince Bookstore and let out a deep breath.
Another slow day. Another notice of late rent payment.
Another day with her world balancing precariously on her shoulders.
June turned off the front lights and made her way to the back of her family’s bookstore, relishing the soft glow of the lights over the register counter bouncing off the dark wood paneling that hid the back office and storage area. The store was a simple and spacious square with a wide porch in front and a two-bedroom apartment above, an apartment she moved into with her grandparents when she was thirteen. The front door was flanked by two large windows, a fireplace along one wall, a recently added coffee bar along the other, and built-in bookshelves lining the rest of the space. Dragan had helped her update the layout, removing some standing bookcases in favor of various sitting areas.
Her body flushed at the thought of her best friend, all muscled six-foot-five of him.
Despite having a degree in English — even if it was from the local state university — June was always at a loss when it came to describing Dragan Carter. She’d always been drawn to him, even back in kindergarten. His English was halting, his demeanor quiet. He’d never participated in class and always took a seat in the back of the classroom, even when the teacher put him in the front. They’d started being friends because June always sat beside him or saved him a seat, even though they never spoke. At least for the first few weeks. Once the floodgates opened, they couldn’t stop talking. At least, she couldn’t. And he was always right there, offering a smile or words of encouragement.
June smiled at the memories, her talking his ear off and him never leaving her side. The older they got, the more in sync they became. She knew his face like the back of her hand. She knew what words he still stumbled on, which book or song he’d enjoy next, when to ask questions and when to sit in silence with him.
She knew everything about him except what it felt like to be with him, to love him as more than a friend.
Pulling her cardigan tight as she stepped into the back office, June ached with need. Anyone could see how beautiful, powerful, he was. His broad shoulders cut paths through every crowd, his bulging biceps grew three times their size when he crossed his arms. Hell, they’d gone swimming enough times for her to know his abs could definitely wash something. But it was his face that did her in. A strong, sharp jaw and piercing blue eyes to match. He liked to keep some scruff to hide his surprising baby face, and his smile was wide and infectious. He saw everyone for who they were and never judged. He lit up every room he walked into.
June leaned against the desk, taking a shaky breath.
She did not need to think about Dragan Carter, despite the pool forming between her legs.
They were just friends, and that’s all they could ever be.
