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But if he asked for fancy, he was getting fancy. She pulled out one of her favorite cocktail dresses, a gray rough-silk teacup dress that had large black tulle rosettes across the skirt. Fitted through the bodice, the wide skirt stopped just above mid-thigh and made her feel like a sexy princess. She still had her sky high black satin pumps from high school prom. It was one of the few outfits that tricked her muscular short legs into looking like they belonged to a supermodel. She checked her hair, straightened pin-straight, and grabbed the white vintage box purse that had been her grandmother’s, and then her mother’s. The Tiffany blue lining and tortoiseshell bakelite handle were some of her favorite things, and she packed the bag carefully with her essentials.
She carried her heels in her hand as she walked down the hallway, poking her head into the living room. Her grandpa was asleep on the couch, Missy beside him with his hand in hers while she watchedI Love Lucy. She glanced up at June.
“You heading out, sweetie?” she asked quietly.
June nodded.
“Have fun and give Dragan a hug from me.”
June blew her grandma a kiss and headed out. Growing up, she never confided in her grandma about boys. She had always expected to do that with her mom, and when her mom died her grandparents were so overwhelmed with raising an eleven-year-old, while trying to keep her in her family home, and dealing running the bookstore.
It was amazing the sense of relief June felt, having her grandma know about Dragan. Looking back, she knew it’d been silly to keep her shut out. But after losing her parents, she felt trapped inside herself. So she receded even further, letting only Dragan be the one to coax her out.
And he’d done it again, by entrusting her grandma with his feelings for June. By trusting that if he let her in, June would, too.
June bounded down the steps, pushing out into the brisk air. He was outside waiting, leaning against his old car. His suit was a bit snug, the pants a touch short, but still somehow looked like a million dollars. The smile he gave her almost stopped her in her tracks. She’d always been able to read how he felt, especially when he looked at her. When he touched her, said her name. Her intuition had only grown stronger, like their first kiss had sealed them as one. She walked up to him, barefoot. His broad shoulders sheltered her from the wind as he pulled her into a hug, and she slipped her arms beneath his suit jacket, shivering.
“Let’s get you inside,” he whispered into her hair before pulling back and cupping her face in his hands, lips drinking her in.
She fell against him, wanting him to take all that he wanted from her; she would give it, over and over, if it meant having this forever.
But he let go, opening the door for her and shutting it as she got in. She’d ridden in his car — Carl, a 2007 silver Saturn Ion — many times, had loved the feel of the soft seats and the sun roof open on summer days. As he buckled in and she looked over, she wanted more of this. Dragan’s spicy wooded cologne clung to the fabric, infiltrated her nostrils until she was bathed in the only scent that mattered.
They drove in relative silence, through back roads and up the Shawangunk Ridge. The road curved and swirled up the rocky face, until Dragan reached a hidden turn-off. It looked like a gravel driveway, but when they got to the end of it it was just a wide field.
And when June stepped out and looked around, she saw it wasn’t just that.
Nothing was ever what it looked like, not with him.
The wide field sloped down and a pond lay at the bottom, overlooking the entire Hudson Valley. Lights from all the towns she’d grown up with twinkled in the dark night, a waning crescent moon high above.
June couldn’t believe her eyes, and when she looked at Dragan, he was just as excited.
“D, this is beautiful.”
“Isn’t it?” He pulled her close to him and helped her walk down the slope. She never put on her heels, not seeing the point until they got where they were going. She thought it was a restaurant, maybe a movie.
Not her entire life glowing before her.
When they reached the bottom of the slope, there was already a picnic set-up. Battery-operated lights and candles surrounded the plush blanket, a basket in the grass in front of where they’d sit. Dragan helped June lower and pulled out another thick blanket, throwing it over their legs as he sat down beside her.
39
Dragan watched June as she took in the valley below them, the stars reflected in the pond. It was a spot Archer had told him about years ago. The moonlight was weak, but what little of it there was bathed everything in cool blue.
“I’m sorry about the fancy dress code, I just… I wanted this to be special. As our first real date, I wanted you to feel… I don’t know.” He stared out into the darkness.
He wanted her to feel taken care. To feel beautiful and cherished.
But he also knew that once word got out about the app sale, his life — their lives — would change forever. And for just one night, he wanted to do things the way he should’ve when they were thirteen, when he first realized how hopelessly in love with her he was.
He should’ve done it again when he was sixteen and said those three words when he was too loose to hold them in any longer.
He should’ve done it every day since. Life was too short, as they’d both learned that the hard way. Now their lives would change, and while it would be in a way that made a lot of things easier, he wanted to give her something to remember about their old life, together.
Her hand covered his. “Dragan, it’s always special when it’s with you. Because of you.”
“It’s always special because of you, June. My life is incomplete without you. I know we have a lot to figure out. But… but I don’t want to not try this, us, for real. We’ll go as slow as you want, but you’re the one I want. It’s you. It’s always been you.”
