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“No one would blame me for leaving you if they saw how crazy you’ve become.”
Lisa put her hands up to her face and screamed so loud, she hurt her own ears.
He turned around and fled from her, glancing over his shoulder in fear.
Guilt reared its head. She should have forced him to get help years ago when he’d had his breakdown and had to quit his job. Longing for Ryan to be home so she could spend every waking second caring for him had backfired miserably.
It hadn’t taken long for her to see that unless he attempted to seek happiness in life, she would not have the power to help him. The realization had made her feel so awful, but it had forced her to grow up. She really didn’t have any control over the situation. Only Ryan could make the changes he needed to make.
Approaching Laura and Will’s cottage, she slowed down in case Laura was looking out the window. Laura was one friend Lisa would benefit from talking with. Lisa had told her that morning that it looked like a split with Ryan was imminent. Laura had once been briefly married to Ryan. They’d lived in Manhattan in an apartment bought by her father, Randy, who had been married to Pam.
Lisa didn’t know the details of Ryan and Laura’s marriage. Laura’s mother Crystal had more in common with Ryan than Laura did, and Ryan and Crystal had often gone bar hopping and to festivals in the city, or played cards and drank. So Laura knew how Ryan was.
But Laura never came to the window, so Lisa returned to her own cottage. She let herself in through the side door. The quietmade her sad. Ryan wasn’t standing at his easel, painting one of his beautiful beach scenes. It was so rare to be in the house alone.
After hanging up her jacket, she went around the counter into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. How many times had she done that for Ryan? She could now put the energy she’d spent caring for him into herself.
When the coffee was finished, she took a cup and went out onto the enclosed porch that looked out over the beach. Except for a brief period after she’d married Dan, Lisa had always lived near the water. Even for college, she had chosen the University of Oahu. It was as far away from her family of origin as she could get and still be in the United States.
She thought of her life, how different it had turned out from what she had imagined it would be. Her first pregnancy had resulted from two naïve people coming together; her first husband, ex-priest Ed Ford, had also been a virgin, and she had gotten pregnant the first time they’d had sex. A lot of firsts.
The second pregnancy had been planned with Dan Chua. The third had been a slip-up with Ryan. And the fourth had been planned with Ryan.
Woven in was Dan’s second child, Dan Junior, whose mother was a former beauty queen. Cara had had an affair with Dan while Lisa had been married to him, and through a series of events, Dan Junior had come to live with Lisa.
Cara and Lisa had eventually fallen in love and had lived together as lovers for a while, infuriating Dan. It seemed so simple when she thought of it, but it had been more complicated than she would admit. She’d never considered herself bisexual and still didn’t. Clearly, however, she was. Amazing that people could live in denial about their own identity.
Shaking her head, Lisa grinned. She hadn’t thought of Cara in a while outside of when it was Cara’s turn to see Dan Junior. Lisagot out her phone and keyed in the number. Cara answered on the third ring.
“Hey, girlfriend. What’s new?”
“Ryan moved out, and I was just reminiscing.”
“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry. Same old stuff?”
“Not really. He’s been fooling around. I figured I had to nip it in the bud before it got out of hand and affected the children.”
“Good for you. I know how tolerant you are. But infidelity is too much.”
“How’s everything at the farm?” Cara and her husband lived in and managed what had once been Dan’s family farm.
“It’s okay. I’m tired of it, but it’s how we live. By the way, I know it’s been a while since I’ve seen my son. Maybe next weekend would be a good time to start that up again.”
“Okay. Can you let me know? Dan might have plans he hasn’t told me about yet. He’s with my mother now, living in the house. His place sold as soon as it went on the market.”
“He didn’t tell me,” Cara replied. “So, he’s with Pam again.”
“Yes. They’re engaged.”
“That sure came out of the blue.”
“It did. Anyway, why don’t you get in touch with Dan yourself, and then you can plan directly with him?”
Lisa hated being in the middle of those two. It was time for Dan to take charge of things with Cara so his son could see his mother.
“Okay, you’re right. How’s Dan Junior doing, anyway?”
“He’s okay. Just had his heart broken by Ryan, but other than that, he’s doing well in school and seems happy otherwise.”
