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Just thinking of being pregnant, the inconvenience, the trouble it would cause with Ryan, made her hands shake so badly, she had to pull over to the curb. Bowing her head against the steering wheel, she cried tears of sadness mixed with fear. The stupidity,herstupidity, shook her to the core.
Abortion was the answer, but thinking of her other four, five counting Dan Junior, she couldn’t do it. She had the money for another baby. She had the help. It was dealing with Ryan that would be the issue. And she didn’t want to deal with him. She almost wished he’d stay away, but she couldn’t do that to her children.
The tears came again, and then a tap on her window scared her so badly, she screamed. When she saw who it was, she laughed through the tears. Rolling down the window, she quickly explained between gulps, “This isn’t because of you, Zach.”
“Lisa, what is it? Let me help you as a friend, nothing more.”
Hesitating, she knew it was dangerous to let him in on her secrets too soon. But she really needed to talk, and Zach wassafe. He was a professional, right? And he wasn’t in the circle of friends and family. That was a huge plus.
“Can you get in?” she asked.
He walked around her car and got in on the passenger side.
Taking her hand, he turned to her. “Do you miss your ex?”
“No! I wish he’d find someone else to haunt. I’m done with him.”
“What’s going on, then?” Zach asked.
Lisa turned to him, blinking back tears. “Do I have your complete confidence?”
“Complete.”
“I think I’m pregnant. IknowI’m pregnant. I just have to confirm it. I’m about three months.”
“So that explains the six-month wait.”
“Well, yes. I guess.” She reached for a packet of tissues. “I’m going to the drugstore to get a test. I just need to confirm it. So I can plan.”
Zach took a deep breath. “Wow. When he finds out, will he come back?”
“I doubt he would want to, but even if he did, I wouldn’t allow it. There’s so much more to the story that I’m not at liberty to share now. Maybe later, if we are still talking to each other, I can. But there’s too much at risk.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s sinking in. There are a lot of unknowns.” He turned to her. “I just thought of something, Lisa. If we could start seeing each other, if everything worked out, I’d bond with the baby. He’d be mine. We could say he was mine.”
Appalled, Lisa hesitated before answering, wanting to find the right words.
“That’s a lot to ask of any man, Zach. I’m not sure I want to start our relationship out like that. It’s a lot of pressure on you.”
“It’s my decision, though,” he said. “You didn’t ask.”
“Since you know and aren’t running from the car screaming, I guess we could start at square one and just take it slow. In the meantime, I have a pregnancy test to buy and two little girls to get home to.”
He put his hand on the door handle. “I won’t ask to be with you when you do the test , as much as I want to.”
She laughed but shook her head. “No, I’m not sure what my reaction is going to be, so I’d better do it alone.”
When he stretched his long legs out of the car, she saw the fabric of his winter coat straining across his strong back, and the equipment belt with all the tools he needed to do his job as a firefighter/EMT.
“Zach, thank you. I’ll call you when it’s done.”
He bent over to look into the car, a hint of a smile on his face. “I’ll give you an hour.”
“I’m not sure what I’m going to walk into when I get home, so don’t hold me to it,” she replied, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. More pressure.
“Okay, I won’t. Just teasing.”
He got back in the car, a knee on the seat, and stretched over to kiss her on the lips again.
