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Pam had never shared that she was still grieving.
Megan grabbed her grandmother’s hand, and Lisa got on the other side to do the same.
“Mom, I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too, Grandma. I wish I had known my uncle Brent.”
“You know your little cousin,” Pam said, “and he’s so much like his dad. Smart and sensitive. I need to spend more time with all my grandkids. Another regret.”
“You’re doing it now, Mother. We’re sort of celebrating Megan’s introduction into womanhood.”
“Mom, no way,” Megan groaned.
Pam squeezed her hand, giggling. “It’s okay, Meg. We’re all in the same boat. Well, I’m not anymore, but I was.”
“Whatever,” she replied, flushing.
They’d reached Pam’s house.
“Have a nice run, you two. We’ll do it together soon.”
“Bye, Grandma,” Megan said.
They waited for her to walk up the dune to the house.
“Well, there goes my mother,” Lisa said.
Megan took her hand. “She’s unhappy, isn’t she?”
“Well, she’s grieving for her child, and I don’t think that will ever go away.”
“Can you grieve and be happy at the same time?”
“I’m not sure. She loves Dan, and he’s there now, but that isn’t a guarantee of happiness.” Lisa paused on the sand, looking out over the sea. “It just came to me. Ryan left, and I’m happy. It’s so fragile.”
“What is?” Megan asked in a little voice.
“Life. Our hearts. After all these years with him, you’d think I’d be grief-stricken. You know, it’s probably inappropriate to discuss this with a young girl, but I think it’s important. You saw what it was like with him. Not the private stuff…”
“I saw you took care of him, Mom. I could tell—everyone could tell that you loved him.”
“I always will, I suppose,” Lisa confessed, “but it’s a relief that he’s on his own now.”
“You’re not angry with him?” Megan asked.
“I was for a while, wasn’t I? It’s cyclic. Comes and goes. The last year has been so hard, and I know it was hard for you kids, too.”
“That fat woman in his apartment made me mad,” Megan snapped.
“It’s not nice to body shame, Megan,” Lisa reminded her.
“Well, whatever. Hey, we’re not running!” Megan cried.
“Let’s go. It’s good to get your body used to exercise during that time of the month. You tell it you’re in charge! And make sure to eat right to protect your belly.”
Lisa would have to make the effort for her daughter to include more fruits and vegetables in her diet, less frozen French fries and nuggets.
“I’ll start tonight. How about a smoothie when we get home?” Megan asked.
