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“Such as taking me into an unlocked room before the bidding war this morning.”
“Ah, yes, that.”
“I enjoyed it,” I admit, knowing my face is glowing just thinking about it.
“Me too.”
“Do you like that kind of thing when it’s spur of the moment? Where you might get caught?” I ask.
“Sometimes,” he says thoughtfully. “I guess it just depends on the day. But I find that hot, yes.”
“You must have a lot of women vying for your attention.”
“None that have taken to quite like this,” he says, his gorgeous dark eyes flick up to mine and I see they’re filled with the meaning.
“You’re very sweet.”
He lets out a breath and laughs at the same time. “I can’t say I’ve behaved myself very well.”
“Perhaps that isn’t a bad thing,” I consider lightly. “I can’t say I’ve behaved very well, either.”
He shrugs. “You’ve behaved just fine, Maddie. I know you don’t know me all that well, but you can always be honest with me. The way you’re feeling, what you want, and what you don’t want.”
I nod, surprised, but kind of relieved. Yes, he’s saying all the right things, but there seems to be so much conviction and promise behind his words. I can’t help but admire that.
“You sure you’re not just good with words?” I check.
He flicks his eyes up at me, swallowing a mouthful of antipasto. “My Mom says I’m all heart, that I’ve always been like this.”
I smile. “It does seem that way from where I’m sitting.”
“Well, sometimes it’s my downfall.” His face falls a little, and I don’t know what that’s about.
“How is it your downfall?”
“I guess people can take advantage.” He shrugs. “I’m big enough and old enough to look after myself, but I guess even with my Dad, a part of me hopes we could do better. But even I have to admit defeat.”
“What do you think it is with him?”
He shrugs. “I really don’t know. I mean, it sounds crazy to say that because I’ve known him my whole life. But there’s things about him that I don’t understand, and maybe I never will.”
“Maybe he just likes having control,” I say, not that I want to put my spoke into it, but sometimes an outsider looking in can have a point of view you never considered. I can see he struggles with it. Every time he talks about his dad, he tenses up. “And because he can’t control you, maybe it stirs things up in him.”
He stares at me intently. “You know, you’re right. In fact, you made me think of something I haven’t thought about in a long time with my Grandfather.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I was too young when he died. I don’t really remember much about him. But from what I know, he was good and wanted to carry the family name on in business, so maybe it has something to do with that. I don’t know why my Dad doesn’t just come out and say it. He inherited most of what he has now. It made him a very rich man. But I don’t know if it has ever made him happy.”
“That’s actually sad,” I say. “No matter which way you look at it.”
He agrees. “Yeah. I mean, it never had to be this way. But I suppose, to some degree, he has a hold on me. I wanted his respect and, I guess, his admiration. I wanted something, at least. Those things were just never available to me.”
“I’m sorry, Ash.” I reach over and squeeze his hand. He lifts it up and kisses my knuckles.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head over it,” he tells me. “I’ve long since given up on worrying about it myself. It causes me stress from time to time, like when he calls on me for things, but I try to ignore him most of the time.”
It doesn’t make me feel good to hear it causes him stress. I know things with my dad have been tense since the divorce and him finding a new girlfriend. I’ve met Julie a multitude of times, and while she seems to really care about my dad, I can’t see us getting close anytime soon.
