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When the bus stopped at the next stop, I got off, keeping my head down. No one looked at each other, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t need any more attention, not when I still didn’t even know how I’d spent the day.
Three blocks later, I arrived at the edge of the tent city. Or what had been a tent city but now hung in tatters. People milled around the torn-up tents and dumped fire pits. I sighed. The hunters made such a mess. They always did.
I spotted a fire built from the wreckage near the center of what had been the city, so I headed that direction. If I could get my tent close to the fire, I’d be warmer tonight. Lance waved to me, and I approached him slowly, surprised to see he sported a black eye. “What happened to you?”
He shrugged. “I tried to intervene. Young mother. I didn’t want him to take her. He punched me.” He frowned. “I’ll heal. The authorities came and took the kids this morning. We both know that won’t go well, since they’ll never see their mother again.”
Deplorable didn’t begin to cover how disgusting it was when demons took over parents. No one loved or needed me around, but kids needed their parents.
Lance shook off his dark thoughts, focusing on the problems at hand.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No. Just get set up for tonight. Nathan came around, possibly looking for you. I’m not sure. Thought maybe they got you.”
I touched his arm. He still needed touch. Maybe somewhere inside of me, I did too. “I’m still here. For today, anyway.”
Lance’s face crumpled into sad lines. “You know…I know you’re one of them, but you’re so nice, Addalee. Is it possible that thing could go away and leave you alone someday?”
Ryker wanted to know that, too. He wouldn’t care anymore. He’d be done with me. “Probably not, but thanks.”
I set up my tent quickly. Lance had helped me the first couple of nights, until I got the hang of it. He was the nice one, making it seem even more unfair that the world remained cruel to him. Me, I could understand, but not him. I had laid out my bed, bundled up under my jacket, when I saw the tear.
That bitch tore my new jacket. Fuck. I lay back. I really liked this thing.It had been a gift and now it was torn.
Mary, if I ever saw her again, would think I couldn’t take care of my things.
I listened to the cars going down Astor to Onna Street. I needed to do laundry and wished I thought of it when I was at Cruise’s. Maybe they would’ve let me use their machines.
“Addalee?” Ryker stuck his head in the tent. “Oh, good. It’s you. That guy said it was you in here. I found you.”
I lifted my head, surprised to see him. “Ryker? Why were you looking for me?”
“I needed to see if you were okay. I wanted to know where you were living. See it for myself. Tell you how sorry I am for what happened today. And I also wanted to see if I could get you to leave here. The hunters come regularly. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.”
Ryker sat down across from me. I abruptly remembered another time in a tent with him. When we were about eleven and thirteen respectively, we stayed in a tent one night for fun in the backyard. Back when his mother liked me and used to invite me over to do things.
It was a fun memory, but it faded quickly. I certainly wasn’t camping out for fun anymore. “Ryker.” I sighed. “My demon detests you. She’s always threatening to get you possessed and doesn’t because I push about it, but honestly, I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to protect you from her. It would be better for you if you just left me alone.”
“I’m not scared of your demon.”
I sat up, spine straight even as my lips curled in a smile. “You should be. I look like a twenty-something blonde woman. I can assure you that she doesnot.” I only saw her once, when she took me, and once was enough. I shuddered at the memory. “I’m not the girl you grew up with, okay? She’s dying. In the meantime, I’m something else, and even this will be gone soon. You might as well step away now. My only choice is to continue to let her eat me up inside. Otherwise, I could let some crazies pretending to be religious figures try to take her out of me. Most people die. I do horrible things. I can’t taste food unless she lets me. Can’t smell things unless she lets me. I don’t like to be touched, and other than last night—which is a long story—I haven’t smiled and meant it in years. I think she only lets me see you because you feed me. So go away, Ryker. Go live your life. Marry Jasmine. Your whole family will be so relieved. I don’t even know what I did to her today. I didn’t kill her, did I?”
You didn’t. I am loving this so much. We are going to go a step further.
What did she mean by that? Ryker might have started to say something, but I continued, whether I wanted to or not.
“I was coming to tell you that I loved you. Instead, I saw you with her for the first time. Right after that, I got possessed. I’m sad and pathetic, even when I’m not possessed. I was never the girl you thought I was, not even back then. But the good news is I can’t love at all now, so don’t worry about my feelings. I don’t even like you because I can’t like anyone. She decides whatemotions I’m allowed to experience, not me. So go away, Ryker. Go live your life.” I waved my hand, gesturing him away.
Instead, he frowned. “Is that true?”
“Which part?” I sighed. “All of it was true.”
“Addalee Ackers, I’ve been in love with you my whole life. How could you think otherwise? Jasmine is gone. I broke up with her, which your demon doesn’t want you to remember. I broke up with her the second she put her hands on you. You ripped out her hair and shoved her on the ground right before my cousin threw her out. Then you ran. I’ve been looking for you ever since.”
I let out a breath. “I can’t love you. That’s gone. It’s the first thing they kill.”
“I don’t believe that. You’re still you. I know you are. I didn’t understand how you were hurting because you didn’t let me know. You did that because you love me, okay? I get that. It’s not okay. I wanted to know. I would’ve taken care of you.”
