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Did he really believe this crap? “The first thing my friends did was throw me out of my apartment. I lost my job instantly. You couldn’t have taken care of me. You’d probably be dead by now, if you had attempted it.” I sounded hysterical. “Just go. Surely people need tows today. Don’t you have work to do?”
Instead, he lay down next to me. What in the hell was he doing?
“I don’t like to be touched,” I said quickly, my voice high and shrill.
“I’m not touching you.” He stared at the top of the tent. “I didn’t think you had those feelings for me. Not ever. I was pretty sure I was doomed to love you forever, unrequited. When did you start feeling that way? Back when you could, I mean.”
His last sentence sounded disbelieving. I rolled my eyes. “What difference does it make?”
“I’d just like to know… how long exactly I fucked up my whole life.”
My demon sort of liked the way he worded it. I tried to remember, tried to feel it. “I think I loved you from the time I was ten years old. The first time I saw you…boom. You were everything.”
“That long?” He closed his eyes. “I have a lot of things to think about, but you aren’t going to be living in this tent. Get your things together. You’re coming home with me.”
No way. No how.
“I’m sorry, Ryker. Thank you for the offer, but I’m not living with you. She says no. When she doesn’t want me to go, it means that my body will literally not move. I’m not in charge of things.”
He leaned up on his elbow. “Then I’ll stay here with you.”
Also a big no.
Maybe he read it on my face because he frowned. “She only hates me this much because you love me. She knows that, so she hates me.”
“Loved.” He wasn’t getting it—past tense. “Besides, you weren’t in love with me. You had girlfriends. You have—sorry,had—Jasmine.”
He took my hand in his and I thought about telling him to drop it. “You had boyfriends, too, Addalee. We made mistakes. It’s not too late to fix them.”
“It is.” I patted him on the arm. “Time for you to go.”
He put his head back down. “Not yet.”
“Okay.”
My demon grumbled but didn’t force him out of the tent. Instead, I let him hold my hand while he lay next to me. Eventually, I became aware that he was asleep. It would be hard not to know it. Ryker had always snored. It had been my favorite sound when we were kids. It meant I wasn’t alone inmy mother’s house, where any guys who wanted her might also decide they wanted me. I pushed away the thought.
Let’s go kill them. Every one of them.
I wouldn’t have any control if she decided she wanted to kill them. I’d discovered just how far I could go today. Jasmine had pissed me off, and not only did I have zero control over what happened, I’d actively been happy it was about to happen. I slipped into this place where I was losing myself. Maybe I lost myself a long time ago and I was only aware after meeting Mary.
I let go of Ryker’s hand and slipped out of my tent. Someone nearby strummed a guitar. The tents had filled in since I went inside. Other possessed returned to what little we had left. We stared at each other in silence, the others dropping their gazes. My demon was badass, even though she had behaved more often than most other demons since she arrived. It was like the others couldn’t control themselves while she could most of the time.
It made her more nefarious.
“Hey.” Nathan waved as he walked toward me. “Glad to see you, though I sort of hoped you’d stay at Cruise’s. I’m sure he would let you, but I’m glad to see you again. You have a coat. That’s good. I was going to bring you one tomorrow when I got back from the store.”
Nathan seemed almost nervous, which was unusual for him. Normally, he practically radiated calm, even as my demon screamed her hatred of him.
“Are you okay?” I so rarely asked others the question. She had definitely made me more narcissistic, not that there was much I could do about it.
He met my gaze for a long moment. “I’m having a rush day, but it’ll be fine, thank you for asking.” He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek. “Don’t let her tell you that you’re not important. You’re very important, Addalee.”
Why did he say that? My dream from the night before hit me. “I dreamed that someone said that to me. I didn’t understand it when she said it, and I sure don’t understand now. I wasn’t important before I was possessed, and I’m certainly not with a demon on board.”
“Hey.” Ryker came out of my tent, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Are you okay?”
Nathan didn’t drop his hand, and I had no interest in telling him to move it. Why was that? Cruise’s smell concoction was nowhere to be found.
