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Just then, we pulled up to the Frost house. I dismounted, then looked back at the motorcycle, whose engine was still growling. “Right now?”
“Yeah, it’ll take a little while. Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”
I gave him a suspicious look, then nodded. “But…Frost, I’d wanted to talk to you…” I stopped, hesitating, for some reason unable to find the right words. He had not gotten off his bike since I had first seen him that afternoon, but he so far seemed unharmed. That didn’t mean hewasunharmed, though, and it didn’t mean Mr. Aaron was successfully locked away in custody.
Frost sighed and his mouth was tight. “I know and you deserve to know as soon as possible, but I’m running late. I’ll tell you everything after the recital.”
My frown spread to my creased eyebrows and tight jaw and I stepped towards the bike again, wrapping my hand white-knuckle-tight around one handlebar. “I’m not letting go until you give me something and we both know you’re not going to wrench my hand away. This isn’t fair, Frost. I need to know now.”
Frost sighed and tightened his eyes shut in defeat. After a moment, he cut the engine and moved his right hand over mine on the bar. I gritted my teeth, but made no move to stop him or take back my hand. He met my gaze seriously and something about the way he looked at me brought back a memory of his lips on mine, fierce and desperate. I hoped I didn’t flinch and didn’t see him react if I did. “A couple members of the team I work with and I picked him up at his office this morning. Because it was there, not at home, I suspect, he didn’t make a scene. He feigned innocence and let a little anger show, of course, but it was a pretty easy arrest. He’s hanging out in jail now and he’ll stay there as long as we can hold him. He hasn’t talked much at all and already has one of the best lawyers in Baltimore buzzing about the precinct, but we expected that. Between his fingerprints, your testimony, and your medical records, though, he’ll have a really hard time weaseling out of this.”
I felt my heart begin to race in my chest and I swallowed hard, my mouth going dry. “My medical records?”
“Yes. We can match the bruise on your mouth to his ring. Problem is, the actual bruise is mostly faded already, certainly not recognizable anymore, but luckily it’s documented in your medical records and we can get Dr. Robinson to testify.”
“No,” I said suddenly and fiercely, panic beginning to surge in my veins.
Frost frowned deeply and tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean ‘no’? Poe, this is a really tough attorney. We’ll never get Mrs. Aaron to testify, so without your medical records and Dr. Robinson, all we’ve got are your testimony and his fingerprints. It would be very easy to twist your testimony and lie about how the fingerprints got there. Without the proof of that bruise, I can’t guarantee we’ll get him on anything. And all the proof for the child abuse charge is in your file, nowhere else.”
I stared at Frost in shock and horror. I had never thought this would happen. If I had known, I would have forced him to swear not to arrest Mr. Aaron in the first place. “Frost, my records are sealed. You can’t have them.”
“What do you mean? Poe, I understand that it’s private and if you’d rather a different cop than me took over the case, so be it, but without your records, he’ll probably walk.”
In my mind’s eye, I saw everything in images that would be in my records, like a slideshow. Some of my darkest, most horrible secrets laid out for anyone, Frost included, to see. I felt the burning sting of tears in my eyes as I shook my head. “No, there has to be something else. I fought back, wasn’t there any DNA? Anything at all?”
“Nothing. There was nothing under your nails and nothing we could find in your apartment.” Frost’s expression turned worried and upset. Easily, he dismounted the bike and though I tried to step back away from him, he caught me and locked his arms around me. “Poe, don’t go. Talk to me. Please.”
My eyesight began to shiver and my legs felt like jelly. I was shuddering from head to toe, I was so distraught. “Frost, I can’t let you have them. I can’t.”
“Why not?” he whispered softly.
“Because…” I sobbed once, but managed to contain the tears though my voice was like sandpaper. “I can’t bear to have anyone, especially you, but even a stranger see that. I can’t bear it. And in any case, the defense could say I’m an unreliable witness because of what’s in that file.”
Frost sighed sadly and softly kissed my hair before whispering against it, his voice a thousand years old again, “Darling, that’s not how this works. The defense attorney or prosecutor can subpoena your records in parts. Anything they deem ‘relevant’ can be subpoenaed. Your privacy rights can’t help you in a court.”
I wasn’t seeing his shoulder or the street behind him anymore. I wasn’t hearing him. I was seeing my nightmares, my ears tormented by my screams and awful, mocking, leering laughter. “But the defense will pull everything that matters. Because if he throws my secrets out in front of a jury, he can prove me insane.”
“Dr. Grey will testify on your behalf.”
“It won’t matter. There will still be doubt and everything I can’t bear to hear again will be broadcast throughout that courtroom.” I could even hear a defense attorney’s snakelike voice as he told the jury, the judge, the audience, Frost and I,‘Now, I’m not saying that all these things that have been done to this girl are not horrible beyond all imagination. But, we have to consider the effect all this has had on her. She suffers from PTSD, depression, insomnia, and likely other undiagnosed social disorders. In recent years, her medical records state that she has even suffered from hallucinations on numerous occasions. Who is to say that anyone couldn’t have broken into her apartment, attacked her, and fled? Who is to say that it was for certain the man who raised her rather than a stranger her mind pasted his face onto?’
“Poe, I’m so sorry. This is the only chance we have. If you don’t let me do this, he’ll walk. If I subpoena your records, at least we have a good chance to put him away for awhile.”
I thought about it for a long time, weighing my options much as I had debated earlier whether I made the right decision ten years ago. “Frost, you have to drop the charges.”
He tightened his hold on me as if I had asked him to push me in front of a bus. “No. You know I can’t do that. He’ll kill you or worse.”
“Maybe we can get him next time he tries. But either way he could get off or have a short sentence and this way I won’t have to face…everything again.”
Frost shook his head, but said nothing for several minutes, just hugged me tightly. Finally, he answered, “We’ll talk about this after the recital. I have to go.” Slower than was necessary, Frost lowered his arms and stepped back from me, but stopped with his hands on my elbows and his eyes on mine. “Please, promise me something.”
“I don’t make promises,” I whispered brokenly.
He shook his head sadly and leaned close to me so the soft spikes of his hair brushed my temple and the warmth of his cheek leapt to mine. He whispered in my ear, “Promise me that you’ll let this go for a few hours. He’s in jail and if we decide to, he can be out at my word. There’s nothing to worry about. Let it go, at least until eight o’clock tonight.”
“I’ll try,” I promised, without an ounce of hope in my voice. Not thinking about this mess I had gotten myself into would be like forgetting everything I was trying so hard to hide. Suddenly, though, so softly and briefly, Frost kissed my cheek. Then, without another word or glance, he released me and got back on the bike. Long after the black motorcycle had disappeared, I stared after him in confusion and terror.
After awhile, I made my way slowly up the walkway to the front door. Mrs. Frost’s impossibly tough flowerbeds were finally breaking down under the early winter, their leaves wilting and colors fading to a dead brown.
