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“It’s not a criticism,” Ryder assured her, reaching across the middle console to take her hand. “I mean it for both of us. Let’s have a little fun. We’ll start with one night. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Ryder wished he had a bottle of water in the car so he could wash down his foot, which seemed to be firmly lodged in his mouth.
When he’d proposed marriage to Steph for the sake of their unborn child, she’d accused him of having a heart made of stone. That wasn’t true, but every time he let his heart lead, it took him down a dark and dead-end path.
He felt as incompetent at romance as he did at fatherhood and wondered when Esme would realize she could manage both without him. Before this moment, he hadn’t given much thought to why he’d never been interested in a long-term commitment with a woman.
There was too much to risk, which went double and triple for a romantic relationship with Esme. If things went south, it could ruin the good thing they had going. Damn, Valentine’s Day! He wouldn’t be dealing with this dilemma if it weren’t for the manufactured holiday.
Her house, which felt more like a home to him than anywhere he’d ever lived, was only a short drive away. As soon as he parked the car, Ryder jumped out and hurried around to the passenger-side door, opening it before she could.
“Esme Fortune, would you go on a date with me?” He placed his hand over his chest, surprised to find his heart beating at an irregular pace. Was he legitimately nervous about asking the woman he lived with, slept with and shared diaper duty with out on a date?
That would be a hell, yes.
She got out and looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “We’ve already made arrangements for your brother to babysit.”
“But we can cancel if this isn’t what you want. I want you to want this, Esme.” To want me, he added silently.
She released a long breath, and it felt like some of the tension of the morning left her body as well. “I’d like to go on a date with you.” She offered a shy smile. “Very much.”
He leaned in and kissed her, his mind already whirling with ideas. If Ryder could handle anything, it was a plan. “I promise it will be the most memorable Valentine’s Day of your life.”
Chapter Twelve
Esme took her time getting ready for their date that evening—as much time as the mother of two babies could manage. Chase had been fussy since they’d gotten home from the LC Club—unable to self-soothe and fitfully dozing off in either her or Ryder’s arms.
They hadn’t wanted to put him down in the crib, where he’d undoubtedly rouse Noah, who was napping like a champ, so they had taken turns trying to comfort him. Ryder thought he’d probably had too much stimulation, and it would take a bit of time before he could relax again, but Esme wondered if he was already protesting his parents leaving him with a sitter for the night.
She hoped it wasn’t anything more severe or that the baby was picking up on her anxiety. Perhaps she should have said no to Ryder’s offer of something more.
It seemed easy for him not to worry about how their actions today would affect tomorrow’s future.
Seth had continually told Esme she needed to lighten up, although she thought she’d gotten over his little digs from their short marriage. Ryder was so kind and complimentary of her ability as a mother, but now she realized that didn’t mean he saw her any differently than Seth in other areas.
Still, she wanted this night with him more than she’d wanted anything in a long time, even more than the passion they shared. What if a date could lead to something bigger? It was a risk, and Esme wasn’t sure she trusted herself. But proposing the arrangement and that they move in together had also been a leap of faith—one that had paid off more than she could have dreamed.
What would be the harm in blowing off a little steam in the form of a romantic night out? She longed for real romance, particularly because, in the middle of the night, Ryder was everything she wanted in a partner—gentle, loving and attentive to her pleasure.
She couldn’t imagine ever tiring of making love with him, but the time they spent managing daily life together was just as precious. It scared her, however, to want more with him. She was afraid of being hurt and then having to put on a brave face for the kids.
But that worry would hold, she reminded herself as she applied a pink gloss to her lips. She adjusted the flowing dress she’d chosen and stared at herself in the bathroom’s full-length mirror.
There wasn’t much in her closet that felt right for a romantic night on the town, but she loved the muted floral pattern and the way the silky fabric felt against her skin. She’d paired it with a fitted blazer and low-heeled ankle boots and hoped Ryder would notice that she’d made an effort. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, he and Brandon both did a double take, and admiration and desire shone in Ryder’s green eyes.
“I can’t say much about this guy.” Brandon patted Ryder on the shoulder. “But you, Esme Fortune, clean up real nice.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, heat rising to her cheeks.
Ryder turned to stare at his brother. “How in the world did you get a reputation as a ladies’ man when that’s the kind of compliment you offer a woman?”
“And you can do better?” Brandon challenged. “You didn’t even remember Valentine’s Day.”
Ryder walked forward until he was directly in front of Esme and then linked their fingers together. “You look so beautiful tonight, sweetheart. If I were a poet, I’d write a sonnet for you. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you in my life, but I’m glad we have this evening together.”
“If you tell her she completes you, I’m going to barf,” Brandon complained.
Esme laughed.
