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“You look very handsome as well, Ryder. You always do.”
He grinned. “Let’s get out of here before my numbskull brother realizes exactly what he’s signed up for.”
Brandon held up the baby monitor. The only noise that came from it was the mobile playing “Rock-a-bye Baby.” “Y’all did the hard part. I’m just going to watch a movie and enjoy my own delightful company.”
Esme gripped Ryder’s hand more tightly. “Are you sure Chase is down? If you think he’s going to give Brandon trouble, we don’t have to go out tonight.”
“Go,” Brandon insisted. “You two are giving me a complex like I can’t even handle my nephews for a couple of hours.”
“We won’t be out late,” Ryder assured his brother. “The keys to the BMW are on the counter, and their infant carriers are next to the kitchen table.”
Brandon frowned. “Do you want me to take them for a ride if they wake up?”
“No, but you need to drive my car in an emergency. You can’t just toss them in the back seat of your Porsche. But call us first, no matter what.”
“Do all parents worry as much as the two of you?” Brandon looked skeptical.
Esme smiled. She didn’t know how to answer that question, but it reminded her how grateful she was to be co-parenting with Ryder. He took the keys to her Subaru, and as they started out of the neighborhood, she tried to figure out their destination.
“I’m guessing you were probably able to get a reservation at the LC Club.”
“Nope. Didn’t even try.”
“Then where?” Esme asked, although she had a feeling he wouldn’t tell her quite yet. “I don’t think we’ve covered this, but surprises make me nervous. Giving up control is weird and going with the flow doesn’t come easily to me.”
His mouth curved into a grin. “Is that so? I wouldn’t have guessed that you like being in control.” He reached over and squeezed her thigh. “Except when you do that one thing where—”
Esme slapped her hand over his. “You can’t talk about that stuff...the stuff we do at night.”
He laughed. “I know the stuff you’re referring to, but why can’t I talk about it? It’s only the two of us here right now.”
She bit her lower lip, embarrassed that she was not only a stick-in-the-mud when it came to surprises but a prudish one at that.
“Hey.” Ryder wrapped his hand around hers before she could speak. “It’s okay. You don’t have to change who you are for me, Esme. Tell me what’s going on.”
She tried not to fidget as he studied her after parking the car along Main Street, which made her even more curious as to their destination. “Does this still have something to do with that nursing assistant? I had no idea she slipped her number into my pocket.”
“I’m sorry,” she said automatically. “I’m really trying to go with the flow, but it feels like tonight changes things.”
“If you’re worried about our co-parenting partnership, I promise nothing will change my commitment to raising our sons together.”
“It’s not that.” Esme shook her head. “I know how to be a mother, Ryder. As silly as it sounds, I was born for that role. But being someone’s girlfriend or a romantic partner is different, and I haven’t been very successful at it.”
She kept her gaze locked on their hands joined in her lap as embarrassment washed through her. “Heck, I don’t even own any cute bras. I threw them all away after I learned about Seth’s cheating. He wanted me to wear sexy lingerie, and it made me sick to look at the items I’d purchased to live up to some arbitrary standard he set.”
“You never told me that.” Ryder’s tone was gentle.
“Because it’s humiliating,” she admitted. “You and I are on our first official date, and I’m wearing my boring cotton panties underneath this dress. I know it’s easy enough to buy new ones, but even though we’ve been sleeping together, it hasn’t crossed my mind. I buy diapers at GreatStore every week, and they sell nice matching sets of lingerie.”
Ryder released her hand and got out of the car. She watched him walk around the front, and then he opened her car door and drew her out. A moment later, she was enveloped in his warm embrace.
“I don’t care about fancy underwear. You could be dressed in a potato sack, and I’d still be over-the-moon attracted to you. You have no idea what you do to me.”
He used one finger to tip up her chin and gently brushed his mouth across hers. “I don’t think this is about lingerie, although once again, your late husband has proved himself to have been aggressively foolish when it came to valuing you. For the record, I’m scared, too.”
Esme stared into his vibrant eyes, finding that statement difficult to believe.
“You’re an amazing mother. I know I’ve said it before, but it becomes more apparent every day. We agreed on this arrangement, but you don’t need me. Not like I need you.”
