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“What’s the catch? Have you made a deal with a reality show to film us trying to take each other down?” Ryder practically shouted the accusation. He’d just started to repair his relationship with Brandon. He refused to be pitted against his brother once again.
“No.” His father shook his head and rose from the chair, pacing to the edge of the kitchen and then back. “Of all the mistakes I made, fostering that inherent competition between you and Brandon is the one I most regret. You remember me telling you that my brother, Tom, died my senior year of college?”
Ryder nodded. “He was killed in the line of duty.”
“A true hero,” Chandler said with a nod. “He was two years younger than me, and I wanted nothing to do with him. We played different sports, had separate groups of friends and refused to share our toys. It was so stupid, and once he was gone, I realized how much I missed him. I thought we could keep you close by encouraging—and sometimes demanding—that you and Brandon were interested in the same things, even if you were competing.”
“It did not keep us close.” Ryder laughed softly. “You had to see that, Dad.”
“I figured the two of you arguing and vying for the same prizes was better than if you ignored each other, but I’ve never been great with appropriate emotions or ways of demonstrating them.”
Ryder searched for the resentment he usually felt toward his dad but couldn’t find it, which felt like its own sort of prize, even more than the CEO position. “Me, neither,” he admitted. “But I guess we can both learn.” He liked the idea of working with Brandon instead of against him.
Chandler moved closer and pulled Ryder in for a hug. “I don’t have a lot of room to give advice on women, son, but I have no doubt Esme Fortune is worth whatever it takes. I hope you can work things out with her.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Ryder smiled, but it felt more like a grimace. He agreed with his father, but that didn’t mean he had it in him to be the man she deserved.
Chapter Sixteen
“You do know that searching for your dream house is supposed to be a happy event?” Lily placed a hand on Esme’s arm. “You look like you’re about to throw up.”
Esme tried for a smile, but it didn’t quite take. She’d come to GreatStore to meet up with Lily during her friend’s lunch break. They sat in the corner of the café with Esme’s laptop open, looking at the two properties she and Ryder were scheduled to tour the following day.
The boys were with him this morning because his father had invited them over for Saturday brunch to celebrate his dad’s decision to name Ryder and Brandon co-CEOs of Hayes Enterprises.
Ryder promised that the invitation had also been extended to her, but she’d declined, using the excuse of having plans with a friend. And then she’d quickly had to make plans. It was imperative that she spend as little time as possible with Ryder because every minute they were together chipped away at another piece of her heart.
Not only that, but she also liked Brandon, and more surprisingly, their father. Allowing herself to become close to the Hayes men felt like establishing more bonds that could potentially be broken down the road. She’d taken an immediate shine to Chandler Hayes when he’d stopped by her house. From everything Ryder told her, she hadn’t expected to find his intimidating father also charming and sweet, but Chandler had been instantly enamored with Chase, who looked more like his daddy with each passing week.
Chandler displayed the same amount of affection for Noah, and the quickest way to win Esme over was kindness toward both her babies. Maybe she should blame them for the fact that she’d fallen in love with Ryder, although the reason why didn’t matter at this point. Her current dilemma was figuring out how to make herself fall out of love with him.
“Neither of these is my dream house.” She blinked rapidly and tried to pretend like she wasn’t on the verge of tears. “The good news is either will be great for raising boys.” She tapped on the laptop screen. “One of them even has a barn on the property. Asa has already threatened to get Chase and Noah ponies for their first birthday.”
Lily laughed. “That sounds like Asa. He sure does love horses, especially Major. He talks about that animal the way proud parents coming into the baby department talk about their children.”
“Yeah,” Esme agreed. “Major has been with him a long time. The horse is his best friend and possibly the love of his life.”
Lily made a face. “The love of his life, huh? That’s interesting, to say the least.”
Esme smiled despite her aching heart. “Thank you for spending your lunch hour looking at houses with me. I know I should be grateful that Ryder is such a good father to the boys and willing to go in on a house with me. It will make it easier to share parenting duties.”
Lily waved as one of her coworkers walked by. As usual on a weekend, the store was crowded, although Esme was glad the Valentine’s Day decorations had been taken down. Every time she thought about the perfect date she’d shared with Ryder at Remi’s Reads, it made her wish things had turned out differently.
“I don’t think it’s necessarily easy to be friends with someone when you secretly want more,” Lily said softly, and Esme caught the wistful edge in her friend’s voice.
“You’re right.” Esme kept her gaze on the laptop screen. “But I don’t regret telling Ryder how I feel. I heard Wendell say that secrets cause more trouble than they’re worth, and I agree.”
“But when he didn’t know, you weren’t hurt,” Lily countered.
“I also wasn’t happy, not completely anyway. Falling in love with Ryder was a gift, even though it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I thought that a disastrous marriage had ruined my heart.” She rubbed two fingers against her chest, covered by the oversize sweatshirt she wore. “But it was still there, bruised but not broken. That’s a powerful thing to know about myself. It will take a while, but I’ll heal from this heartbreak, too. I have to for the sake of my boys.”
“Do you think you’ll be ready to date again soon?”
Esme laughed and vehemently shook her head. “Oh, no. I still believe in love, but there’s no point in fooling myself. It’s going to take a long time to get over Ryder Hayes, if I ever do.”
“Maybe there’s still a chance for the two of you,” Lily suggested. “After all, you’ll be with him more than you won’t.” She hit the arrow key to move through the interior photos of one of the potential houses. “Even if you’re sleeping on opposite ends of a house. I just wish you could find your dream home. Loving where you live feels important somehow.”
Esme drew in a deep breath. “Funny you mention that.” She moved the computer’s cursor to the browser icon and scrolled to one of her previous searches. “It’s not the right house for Ryder and me to share given our current circumstances, but...”
