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I just wasn’t sure how to climb past the gates that had been firmly entrenched my entire life, rooted so far deep into who I am that I couldn’t fathom who I was without them.
I took a deep breath and dredged up as warm of a smile as I could manage. “Your offer is very kind. But I really do need to work tonight.”
She eyed me again. “All right. Maybe another time,” she said softly.
I didn’t answer.
Poppy’s attention snagged on the server approaching with my to-go bag. I saw glimpses of Cameron in her face—the shape of her mouth, something about the line of her nose. She was beautiful, the effortless, welcoming kind of beauty that I’d never quite mastered.
“It was lovely to meet you,” I told them.
Poppy hooked her arm through her mom’s. “Don’t worry, she’ll keep inviting you. She’s relentless that way.”
Sheila sighed, but she didn’t sound all that put out. It was an affectionate sound, and something in my chest rumbled dangerously at the sight of it.
With the to-go bag clutched tightly in my hands, I gave them a small smile and left with quick, long steps. The man at the table next to mine winked, and I thought about that wink, their smiles, as I finished my burger and got ready for bed. While I showered, I thought about small-town bars and strangers who knew my mom better than I did. Cell phones with no missed calls. Poker faces and what they hid underneath.
I lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, the hours passing slowly until my eyes finally started to lower.
As my body sank into the mattress, tension easing incrementally from my frame, that’s when the shrill sound of the fire alarms started screaming.
“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered, flinging the blankets off. I ripped a cashmere cardigan from my closet and tugged it around my silk pajama set, slipping my feet into my slippers, and grabbing my purse before I ripped open the door leading out to the hallway.
“Please tell me the hotel isn’t on fire,” I told Amanda when I saw her in the parking lot.
She grimaced, a phone pressed tight against her ear. “It’s not. But we can’t figure out why the alarms are going off.”
“Excellent,” I muttered. “Can we go back in and get our things?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “Not until we know for sure it’s safe. I don’t think it’s carbon monoxide either, but the fire department has to clear the building before anyone can go back in.” Before I could respond, she held up a finger and nodded at whatever someone said on the other end of the phone. Then her eyes closed, and she sighed. “Got it,” she said, then hung up.
When her gaze met mine, I felt a sinking in my gut.
Amanda’s features were grim when she spoke. “No one can stay here tonight, unfortunately. We’re going to need to find a new place for everyone to stay until they get this fixed.”
I stared at her for a moment, then pinched my eyes shut.
Of course.
Chapter 10
Ivy
“Okay, Ivy,” I whispered, “don’t be a fucking pansy. Just go in the damn house.”
It looked a thousand times creepier at night, the trees like tall, spindly skeletons reaching up into the inky sky. From the safety of my car, I questioned how horrible it would be to just sleep right where I was. Lean the seat back and wedge my purse under my head as a pillow.
I’d already run from one thing tonight, and I was getting a little sick of this version of me who did things like avoid restaurants and old houses carrying someone else’s history and builders with angular jaws covered with just the right amount of stubble.
So I wasn’t going to run anymore.
One look at Amanda’s face as she realized the magnitude of having to find new hotel accommodations for every single guest at the hotel, and I found myself doing the absolute strangest thing.
I offered something to make her life a little bit easier, and my night infinitely worse.
“You don’t have to find me a place,” I told her. The words just came out of me. No forethought. Definitely no compassion for the future me who’d have to deal with the ramifications.
“I don’t?” She had this odd dazed look on her face, staring at the parking lot full of tired, cranky people who’d been dragged from their bedrooms by malfunctioning smoke alarms that they couldn’t get turned off. Something about an unexplained electrical glitch.
