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"Because…because…."
"Because you didn't want to bother anyone," he growls, fire flashing in his eyes. "You didn't want anyone to worry about you. You didn't want to upset anyone. It's the same reason you're trying to quit now. You'd rather face this alone than let anyone take care of you."
"I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl."
"You have me," he growls. "You have the team."
"They have a Cup to win, Kris. They shouldn't be worrying about me."
"You think they don't worry about you anyway?" He shakes his head, rising to his feet. "You think they aren't beside themselves right now, worried about you, and why you quit? It's all I can do to keep them from showing up over here right now."
My heart stalls. "They know?"
"Not yet." He tilts his head to the side. "Not all of them. I told Wes. You can be pissed if you want. I'll even apologize if it makes you feel better, but I did what needed to be done." He paces toward me. "They deserve the chance to support you, princess."
"I'm fine, Kris."
"Liar."
"They have a Cup to win. That's what they need to be focused on." I tilt my face up to him, refusing to back down on this. "I won't be the reason they lose the Cup, especially when it'll be the last chance for a lot of them."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I…"
"Six weeks ago, you told me we'd never happen. Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"
"I felt fine then."
"Kelsey."
"I didn't start feeling bad until a couple of weeks ago."
"Kelsey."
"You're so freaking honorable. If I told you the truth, you'd feel obligated to stick by my side. I don't want someone to be with me out of pity."
"Now, we're getting somewhere," he mutters, sinking onto the bed beside me. "What's the real reason? Because I know damn well you don't believe I've been chasing you for two years for the hell of it. You know this isn't fleeting or something that's going away."
I do know that, but I'm not so sure I want to tell him the truth, either. I've never said the words out loud. I don't know if I'm ready to face them now.
"Talk to me, princess," he whispers. "Why are you so goddamn afraid to let me in?"
"Because you deserve more, okay?" I cry, scowling at him. "You can go anywhere and do anything. I can't, Kris. I can't give you the things you want in life."
"What is it that you think I want?"
"I know you want a family," I whisper, staring at my hands. "I can't give you that."
"Kelsey."
"I want your kids so freaking bad." My bottom lip quivers.
"Jesus." He plucks me up from the bed, dragging me into his arms.
I wrap myself around him, clinging like a vine as tears burn up my throat. "I'm supposed to be grateful that I'm alive and able to function normally, but I look at you, and I want something I can't have. And that hurts. You shouldn't have to carry that too, Kris. It's not fair to you. You didn't sign up for any of this."
"And you did?" He tucks strands of hair away from my face. "No one signs up for leukemia, Kelsey. No one signs up for infertility. Sometimes, it just fucking happens, princess. That doesn't make you less. It doesn't mean you deserve less. And it damn sure doesn't change how I feel about you."
