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“It only takes once.”
“Clearly.”
“And you didn’t even come,” I blurted, the memory popping up like a jack-in-the-box in my mind. I scowled. “And then you lied about it!”
Esther’s face turned about five different shades of red. It was fascinating.
“It was embarrassing.”
I jerked back in surprise. “Why the hell wouldyoube embarrassed?”
“Well, because you clearly thought that I should’ve and I hadn’t, so—”
“You didn’t come because I’m a fuckin’ moron,” I said with a humorless laugh.
“I thought maybe—”
“Nope.” I put my hand up to cut her off. “If a woman doesn’t come, then you adjust. You take more time. You pay attention. You work together to make it happen. If you don’t do that, you’re selfish or lazy.”
Esther sat silently for a few moments before replying. “Which one were you?”
I choked and laughed as a little smile played at the corners of her mouth.
“I was drunk,” I replied sheepishly, reaching up to rub the back of my neck where the migraine was still threatening to ruin my day. “And an idiot.”
“I didn’t realize that,” she said softly.
“Whatever you’re thinkin’,” I barked, watching emotions race across her face. “Quit it. I knew exactly what I was doin’. I was just clearly too drunk to do it right.”
“ButIwas sober,” she pointed out.
“Thank Christ,” I muttered, shaking my head. “Listen, I’m sorry for how it all went down. All of it. You deserved better than gettin’ railed in the front seat of my Mustang.”
“Railed?” she said faintly.
“Poor choice of words,” I muttered. “You deserved better than losing your virginity at a party, alright? You deserved better than findin’ out you were pregnant and not knowin’ how to get ahold of me. You sure as shit deserved better than bein’ shipped out to some cabin in the woods with no electricity.”
“I wasn’t exactly a spectator during all of that,” she reminded me, grimacing. “I was the one who started it by showing off my hair. I told you I wanted you to kiss me, remember?”
I laughed silently and shook my head. “If my family heard you say that about your hair, I’d never hear the end of it.”
“What? Why?”
“I knew what I was doin’,” I continued, ignoring the questions. “You didn’t. I knew where it was headed and you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did,” she argued.
“Bullshit.”
“I did. I knew that we were going to do it.”
“Do it?”
“Have sex.Rail each other.”
I damn near choked on my tongue. “Uh, you’re usin’ that phrase wrong.”
Esther glared. “I’m not stupid,” she said stubbornly. “I knew what we were doing.”
