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“Sure,” I said, nodding. I was trying to agree with her because of course I didn’t think she was stupid, but it must have come across as condescending because Esther actually growled.
“I’m not a child,” she hissed, getting to her feet. “I may not know all the slang words for having sex, but that doesn’t meanI’man idiot.”
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.”
“No, just naïve, right? Innocent? Immature?”
“I didn’t say—”
“I’m an adult,” she said through gritted teeth. “I chose to have sex with you because it felt good and it was exciting and—” She threw her hands in the air. By that time she was practically ranting and I settled in to watch the show. “You’re beautiful!”
“Say what?” I yelped. She ignored me.
“And I knew that I wasn’t going to have that chance again, okay? So, stop treating me like poor little naïve Esther who didn’t know what she was doing.” She was breathing heavy, her hands on her hips and her eyes sparking. “I knew what I was doing. I just didn’t anticipate these particular consequences.”
“You’re sayin’ you want me to take off the gloves?”
“I’m not super clear on that reference,” she muttered, her shoulders sagging. “But, yeah. Pretty much.”
I stared at her. At some point during her tirade she’d gotten warm enough to unzip her jacket and the dress underneath was stained and worn. She was wearing rubber boots that almost reached her knees, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked like a waif. A sad little orphan girl. Until I looked at her face. The stubborn set of her jaw and the way she looked at me like she was daring me to say something gentle and calming was pretty shocking. I had never seen Esther look anything but sweet and accommodating. Fuckingpleasant.
No, that wasn’t true. I’d gotten a glimpse of that stubbornness when she’d chopped wood to prove Rumi wrong. My palms grew clammy as I thought of her striding around the cabin, not knowing that she was one spark away from being blown to pieces. That was what finally made my decision for me.
“Alright, here’s how it’s gonna go,” I said firmly, getting to my feet. I’d let her have the high ground and talk down to me when she’d clearly needed it, but if she wanted bare knuckles, then that’s what I’d give her. “You’re not goin’ back to your parents.”
“But—”
“You had your turn to talk,” I said, cutting her off. “Now it’s my turn.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“You’re movin’ in with me, and we’re gettin’ married. We’re havin’ a baby and we’re gonna be livin’ in the same house. I’m bettin’ you don’t wanna do that without a ring on your finger. Alright with me. I’ll get you one.”
“What?” she breathed, staring at me like I’d grown two heads.
“You got someone else you were hopin’ for?” I asked, the question burned through me but I had to ask. “You have a boyfriend?”
Esther scoffed and planted her hands back on her hips. “If I had a boyfriend do you really think we would’ve railed?”
“Sugar, that isnothow you userailedin a sentence.”
“I don’t care!”
“You wanna wear a white dress?” I asked, still bulldozing forward.
She plopped back onto the bed and stared wide-eyed at me. “Where is this coming from?”
“You’re already halfway through the pregnancy,” I said, lowering my voice a little. “You really wanna wait?”
“We don’t even know each other.”
“We’ll get to know each other.”
“Afterwe’re married?”
Now it felt weird to be looming over her so I sat down beside her instead. Reaching out, I pulled her hand away from her lap and laced her fingers with mine.
“Is that any different from what you would’ve gotten before?” I asked softly.
