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“How’s the big city?” he asked.
“Big.”
“You say it like that’s not a good thing,” he said.
“Turns out I’m not meant for that life.”
He glanced over at me with an expression I couldn’t read. “Well, you know you’re always welcome here.”
“I know. Thank you.”
We ate our sandwiches at the table, and it was almost like it used to be before I left.
“Did Layana drive back with you?” Dad asked.
“No. She stayed.”
He flashed me that same expression again. Was it suspicion? Pity?
I decided not to look into it and took another bite.
“I was thinking I could come back to the shop, help you catch up on your accounting,” I said.
“All that’s done.”
“What?” I laughed, because that was impossible. “How?”
“I took a class at the library.”
“Oh.” I nearly choked on my sandwich. He was serious.
He smiled warmly at me.
People are like carrots—they need space to grow.I shook my head at the memory of Oscar’s words.
“That’s great, Dad.” I meant it, even if my chest burned, even if my face grew hot like I might cry again.
“You can take a look if you’d like. I can show you how the Quickbooks works.”
“That sounds nice. Do you mind if I take a quick rest first? I’m tired after the drive.”
“Of course.”
I set my plate in the sink and hurried up the stairs to my old room.
There was still a bed in there, but nothing else was the same. He’d transformed my space into a train room. Model train tracks ran all along the walls and across a massive table that filled half the floor space. Under any other circumstances, I was sure I would have been entranced by the intricate details of the tiny people and scenery all around me. At the moment, I couldn’t appreciate any of it.
I told myself that I would pick right back up where I’d left off before I’d gone to Epiphany, that I could take care of my dad again, and that would be enough. But he didn’t need me to take care of him.
I clicked the lock on the door and collapsed into the bed.
The tears fell, and once they started, I couldn’t make them stop.
FORTY-THREE
OSCAR
An indeterminate amount of time passed where I didn’t leave my office. My body grew numb to the constant pain in my chest. I procured food from my never-empty fridge. Elsie must have refilled it, though I hadn’t noticed her. I slept. I showered the minimal required amount.
