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“You’re too fast.” She gave me a small smile and grabbed the crate next to it.
“It’s the frantic desperation,” I said. “Better than espresso.”
I searched the chaos for Layana and found her already unloading her crate on my table. I scurried back, almost running into two different people, to join her.
“What’d you—” My words and thoughts blanked as soon as I saw what exactly she’d scattered on my table.
Penises.
Red penises.
Blue penises.
Foot-long penises.
Itty bitty half-inch penises.
A whole Dr. Suess book’s worth of penises.
There went any chance of menotthinking about Dick City.
How network TV could air this kind of thing and not get shut down, I had no idea.
“They’re great, right?” Layana beamed at me. “What’d you get?”
I still felt like my thoughts were moving in slow motion.
“Great,” I repeated, trying to kickstart my brain.
She waited patiently for me to get it together, even though the clock was ticking. I licked my lips and pulled a piece of plastic from my crate. It wasn’t a tablecloth like I’d expected, but an inflatable.
An inflatable dick.
A giant one.
“It’sperfect,”Layana said. “I’m thinking we make a costume or accessories, plus…how many of these things do you have?” She rifled through my crate then scanned the room. “We’re the only ones who can do this. Remember my eighth birthday party?”
It took me a moment to remember. “At the indoor jungle gym?”
“Yup. And in the party room at the head of the table….” She waggled her brows.
I remembered exactly what she was talking about.
“No.” I shook my head. “No way.”
“We’re styling the pants off this pile of dicks—a dicktastic party look, fit for a queen.”
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, this was our best move. We were going to have to make an inflatable throne of dicks.
I took a breath and nodded. “I’m in.”
We got to work, setting aside one of the inflatables to chop up. The rest needed to go toward building the throne. For the record, the childhood birthday party in question featured a child-appropriate inflatable throne which hadnotbeen made of dicks.
We blew up the inflatables and watched each other in fits of laughter and a bit of shock as it turned out not all of them were penises. One was a man. One was a sheep.
Waylen shouted through cupped hands, “You have ten minutes left. Hustle hustle hustle.”
“I’m doing the throne,” Layana said. “You make something gorgeous for our bride-to-be to wear.”
