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She repeats the words I've been telling her for the past two weeks. I needed her to know that she's not going through her pain alone. I'm going to be with her every step of the way.
"I love you, Es. Fuck, I'd be so fuckin' lost without you." I can't imagine goin' through this shit without having her by my side.
I love you too. Please don't stress. It's not going to help anyone. Once you take the paternity test, we can go from there.
"You’re right. It's just fucked up."
She nods, resting her head against mine.
I have no fucking idea what the hell I'm going to do, but I do know that everything has now changed and there's no going back.
CHAPTER31
ESME
The entire clubhouse feels as though it's a ticking time bomb. Preacher isn't speaking with anyone except for me and Seri. He's been holed up in his room with Tyson. My heart hurts for him, but I understand why. He's protecting the last moments he has before the truth unfolds. Today is the day we're supposed to have the results from the paternity test. Grayson wasn't the only one who took the test. Shadow, Rush, and Cruz did also. The rest of the guys were adamant that the kid couldn't be theirs.
Seri and I have spent a lot of time together. She's still not announced that she's pregnant, and I know that she's worried that Graham could be Tyson’s father and what that would mean for her, especially as she herself is pregnant. But I know that Gray is the father. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is. Just looking at Tyson proves that. We're both worried about Preacher and Tyson. No matter the outcome, their lives are going to change. My heart is broken for them both and for Grayson.
The sound of pipes rings out and I tense, my gaze moving to Seri, who's sitting beside me. I reach out and grasp her hand. I want her to know that I'm with her no matter what.
"It's going to be okay," she whispers. "No matter what, we're all going to be okay."
I really wish that were true. I look at Preacher and see the pain in his eyes. Over the past two days, he's been quiet and reclusive. He's unkempt and has become a stranger to his brothers. The man has always been a huge part of this club, but in the blink of an eye, it came crashing down around him.
The door opens and in walks the men. Grayson, Shadow, Cruz, and Rush. That was a huge shock to people. Rush had been with Pepper just once, and it would have coincided with the dates around which Pepper became pregnant. To say Octavia and Digger were pissed was an understatement. Thankfully, they were angry at Pepper and not at Rush.
"So, which one of you is the father?" Mayhem asks, and Effie pushes her elbow into his side. "What?" he asks, looking at her with a furrow between his brow.
"Be quiet," she hisses at him. "This isn't anything to do with you, so stay out of it."
I adore Mayhem. He's fun, loving, and always up for joking. But he always seems to put his foot in it. Right now isn't the time to be joking around. He's trying to break the ice and be funny, but there are so many feelings and emotions involved that it's not the time or place to do this.
"We haven't opened them yet," Cruz sighs. "I don't wanna fuckin' know. I don't want a kid. I'm happy bein' an uncle."
I watch as Preacher's jaw locks. I get the anger. Here he is on the verge of losing his son and Cruz is saying he could be the father but he doesn't want it.
"Look," Seri says, her voice soft and gentle. "The longer you all wait to open the results, the harder it's going to be. Everyone deserves answers, Preacher more so than anyone. Can we not drag it out any longer?"
I watch as the men tear into the results, my gaze firmly on my man. I watch him carefully. He's good at keeping his emotions in check. You wouldn't know what the results said by just looking at him. But the moment he slides his gaze to me, I know. He was right. The moment he saw the boy, he knew. I guess people see different things when they look at children. They'll pinpoint one feature that they say resembles them or someone else and they'll run with it. That's what's happened here. But if you're not doing that and you look at Tyson, there's no denying how closely he resembles Grayson.
I give him a nod, letting him know that I understand. I squeeze Seri's hand and she glances at me. I give her a look, trying to convey the results to her.
"Reap?" she says softly, her voice low so only I can hear her. "He was right all along?"
I nod once more. I fucking hate that I can't speak.
"He's not Graham's?" The relief in her voice is clear to hear. "God, I'm a bitch. I shouldn't be so relieved."
I squeeze her hand once again. She's far from being a bitch. It's a hard situation, and while I get that she would have stuck with Shadow had it come out Tyson was his, it's normal to be relieved that you're not tearing apart a family.
"He's not mine," Cruz says. "I need a fuckin' drink."
He needs another dose of laxatives. He's so inconsiderate.
"Nor mine," Shadow says, grinning at Seri. “Sorry, brother,” he says to Preach as he moves over to him and pulls him into a sideways hug. “It’s a fuckin’ hard situation. You gotta know that we all got love for you, brother, and we'll do whatever the fuck it takes to make this better for you."
"Rush?" Octavia asks, her hand gripping Digger's tightly.
