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“Y-yes,” I beg deliriously. His eyes flash, but his smile is surprisingly gentle.
“I’ll be right back.” But my hands grab for his shoulders, nails sinking in, clutching on to him. “Phoenix.” He tilts my chin up with his finger. “I have never fucked a guy before, alright? You’re not alone here.” I nod, fingers reluctantly retreating.
“Okay,” I mumble hesitantly. Kai’s smile grows.
“Okay,” he repeats. “I’ll be right back.” And then he walks away, leaving me glued to the glass while I trace his steps through the room. It’s the first time that I’m actually taking a good look at this place, at this immaculately designed space. Apart from a shiny, rectangular table and chairs, there’s a fridge, a cupboard containing plates of all sorts and shapes, cutlery and glasses. The walls are decorated with fancy paintings that each look to be more valuable than our entire condo. It makes me feel poor and dirty. I’m so far out of my comfort zone here, so far away from the neighborhood I call mine and so fucking alone.
I want to shut the world off by bringing up my longing for my pencils and earbuds, like I always do when it all becomes too much. But before I can, Janis Joplin’sAnother piece of my heartstarts filling the heavy silence, and it helps to calm my fluttering nerves. It’s nice and warm here, unlike my own room. And behind me, the outside city seems far away, like we’re in a private bubble, safe from people, from noise. It’s soothing.
“This is my VIP room,” Kai answers my unspoken question. “I don’t use it much yet, but that will change once I step up.” He comes walking back, two glasses in his hand, giving me a raunchy once-over. “Here.” He takes a drink, and I watch his throat work while I think of something to ask.
I have questions. Will I be in even more danger once he’s taken his role as leader of the Void? I want to ask him, but then he puts his glass onto the window sill. And then he slowly starts unbuttoning his dark velvet shirt, making me nearly choke on the soft and syrupy liquid in my mouth. More smooth, sculpted skin and muscle gets revealed as he makes his way down. When he gets to the last button, his inked hand lingers a little longer on the bulge in his pants, the sight mouthwatering.
“Do you still hate me?” I lick my lips, and follow his tracing fingers like a hawk, the way he caresses his clothed cock.
“Yes.” His digits dip inside the waistband of his jeans. He pulls them down, leaving his briefs on, and he takes his time to take off his boots, socks and jeans, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Then he takes the glass back in hand, a smug smile on his face. “This what you came here for?” It’s nothing more than a rasp, but my breath catches in my throat. I nod a little shaky, unsure of what to do with my hands, since I’ve already emptied my glass, the alcohol leaving a gentle buzz in my system. He takes it from me without a single word, then places it onto the coffee table next to his own glass. His fingers find the zip of my hoodie, and slowly he pulls it down. Nerves are spiking in my gut, and I chew my bottom lip a few times, while I wait for instructions. And then I shiver, because his fingers have found the naked skin of my chest, and are now tracing the shape of my puckered nipples, before he twitches them unexpectedly. My knees buck and I hiss, a wave of desire sizzling through me. “I’ve never been with anyone as responsive as you are,” he mumbles, then does it again. This time I let out a moan. “That’s it, baby mouse. I wanna hear you.” He moves closer, our mouths just inches away, the sweet scent of whiskey mingling with mine. It’s intoxicating. He guides my legs around his waist again, then moves his hands down to trace my bare skin further down, toward my pants. “Are you gonna scream for me?” With one, smooth pull, my sweats and briefs are pulled down, and my hard, wet cock slaps against my stomach. I gasp at the movement, a gasp that turns into a pant when he closes an inked fist around my shaft.
“Yes,” I whimper.
“Yes what?” He starts stroking my cock in a firm, slow pace. It’s excruciating and has me lose my thoughts.
“I want this,” I breathe. “And I’ll scream for you.” His lips brush against mine, and I can feel him smile.
“Good boy,” he mutters, the words washing over me like a sweet wave. I open up for him, letting him in, taking what he wants in a slow, luscious kiss. “Relax now,” he mutters against my lips, “and I’ll try to do the same.”
I catch a glimpse of a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and then he continues kissing me. Wet fingers trace the shape of my naked ass cheeks, taking their time to caress and squeeze, before moving to my rim.
“I told you, I’ve never been with a guy either, Phoenix,” he breathes against my lips, voice raspy with desire. “But with you, it’s like my body just knows what it wants. You. I wantyou.” He brushes his digits past it and I jolt, clambering on to him, wanting it, but fearing it at the same time. And then he dips one finger in, teasing my hole.
“Wh—wh—” I stammer. It’s the tiniest of breeches, but it’s enough to make my hips tremble. The invasion stings, like it’s impossibly tight. It feels good too, in a strange way.
“Sshh—” Kai’s hips start rocking against mine, our cocks colliding, our tongues playing, and his finger keeps on working. “Let’s both pretend we know what we’re doing.” He smiles against my neck, a warm breath that spreads goosebumps on my neck, and desire throughout my entire core. It takes a moment for us to find our rhythm, both seemingly lost between this overwhelming desire and our lack of experience. “You feel so fucking warm down there, baby mouse,” Kai mumbles. “It’s so delicious.”
Fueled by his filthy words, my hips gyrate in search for more friction, but when he adds another finger, my ass feels tight again, and I falter. And then he hits a spot that has me cry out my desire. “There.” He searches for my gaze, voice sounding smug. All previous hesitation disappears like melted ice, instead he sounds his usual smug self. “That’s it?” He presses it again, and again, and my cries turn into long, desperate moans, my hips rolling, faster and faster, to find what I’m looking for. I don’t know what that is anymore, I’m losing myself in this pleasure, my mind free of its usual cotton haze. There’s only Kai, and his fingers, three of them now, and that feeling of our bodies connecting, of him hitting that spot. Until he retreats them.
“No, no, please—” I press my hips down, against the window sill. “Come back.”
He places a chaste kiss onto my lips. “I am. Just a second.” He fumbles with a condom, and his hands are shaking. He curses when he doesn’t get it right the first time, and it makes me smile. “Damn latex. Hate that stuff,” he grumbles, misinterpreting my grin, or perhaps simply brushing it away with his usual grumbling cockiness. Eitherway, it clears the tension a little, and makes me realize that no matter what he says, this is very new to him too.
“You ready?” A nerve ticks in his jaw, while his smoldering eyes search in mine. When I give him a little smile and a nod, he shakes off my hoodie and turns me around, facing the view. “Grab the window sill tight and look outside. Look at the world while I fuck you.” He pulls my sweats all the way down while I’m kneeling on the sill, chest pressed against the cool glass, cock out, ass hot in anticipation. If someone were to look up now, they’d see me getting fucked by Kai. It brings a strange flutter of belonging. As if I’ve finally been claimed by someone.
Kai comes up behind me, trailing his fingertips down my naked back to my ass. His lips connect to my shoulder blade, and he leaves soft kisses while his hands squeeze my thighs further. Wider, open, that feeling of vulnerability goddamn intoxicating. I love it. His hands toy with my balls, and I moan against the window, forehead pressed against the glass. It does nothing to cool my burning body. And then I feel the wet head of his cock at my entrance. “Can’t possibly lube my cock up even more.” He chuckles. “But I don’t want to hurt you. Not like this.” His hands massage my ass cheeks, before spreading them wider. “Who would have thought… your tiny hole is perfection, Phoenix. I’m gonna fuck you so good.” He pushes a little further and I pant, afraid and excited at the same time. He groans when he pushes through, entering my body. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He drops his head onto my shoulder blades. “You good?”
“Keep going,” I pant. He pushes forward, inching into me at a tantalizing slow pace.
“Nearly there, baby mouse. Does it hurt?” My mouth gapes open with each tiny thrust, and his fingers dig into my hips, both pushing me away and pulling me closer.
“Fuck,” I grit out, but I shake my head. That’s a lie, it hurts a lot more than I thought, but I don’t want him to know. He slides further in, and I grind my teeth at the increasing pressure.
“There we are, here—” He grabs my hand and traces it to my ass. “Can you feel that? I’m inside you, Phoenix. All the way inside.” He pulls me closer to his chest, snaking a hand around my throat. “Now they all know,” he growls against my ear. And then he slowly starts rolling his hips, “that you are mine.” His words hit hard, and his arms are tight around me, much like his cock inside my ass. It makes me feel much more protected than it should. “My personal ragdoll.” Kai suckles at the earlier inflicted sting in my neck. “Shit, you feel good.”
I watch him through the glass, his quiff disheveled, his eyes ablaze, his lips glistening as they keep on lapping at my neck. Our gazes meet, and his teeth come out. He bites me again, wraps his hand around my cock and starts stroking. Rocking deeper into me now, he hits that sweet spot with every thrust, and it makes me delirious with desire. I let out a muffled cry, but when I feel Kai sucking my skin hard enough to bruise, I can’t contain myself. I whimper, then moan, again, and again. My knees buck and my cock jolts. “That’s it, baby mouse. Scream for me.” My throat feels dry, mind empty, my only focus Kai. His hands, his mouth, his cock.
“I want, I want—” My hips surge forward, searching for friction. “Please.” Kai squeezes me tightly against him, and it might be painful, if I hadn’t been this horny for him. And then my cock pulsates and I practically choke on my moans. “Oh yeah, oh yeah—” I sob, when I empty myself against the window, spurting ropes and ropes of cum, release making me shivery and dizzy at the same time. When I finish, my chest feels like a churned up mess of hot and cold, sharp and soft. Still I can’t take my eyes off him, because he’s stunning. Because I don’t want to miss a single expression.
“Fuck, Phoenix, fuck—” Kai lets out a shout, and then I feel him tense against my back, and his hand lets go of my softened cock and moves to my chest instead. He squeezes me tight when he comes, his puffy breath escaping against the shivering skin of my neck. And then there’s nothing for a moment, while we hang there, wrapped up in one another, regaining our breath. Then Kai pulls out of my ass slowly, and time picks up again.
“That was amazing,” he breathes against my neck. “Wasn’t it?” I want to snort at him, tell him that he can just discard me right now, and that’s okay. But it’s not. My hands grab backward in search for his shoulders, and I squeeze, needing his strength and heat to prove that this is more than sex. Kai’s blown into my life like some whirlwind—wild and infuriating, daring and sexy—and maybe I’m right. Maybe everything is connected, an accumulation of phases in life. If that’s true, then perhaps our time’s still to come?
