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Yes.
No.
I’m tired of being afraid.
Suddenly it’s chaos around me, people rushing by, orders being barked.
“Clear!” Someone calls out, and when I look up, I see it’s Mason. With a gun in each hand, he gives me a tilt of the chin, then walks back away.
“What the fuck’s going on here?” Austin’s the first one to march my way, his dark gaze scrunched in a frown as it darts between me and the burning bar.
“I didn’t do that.” I roll my lips as I shrivel back. “They are—” Part of the burning roof collapses with a loud crackle, and I hastily take a step away from the burning bar. My back feels hot, just like my palm. I unfold my fingers to see the key that carries this heavy damnation of life. Or death. I throw it his way. “They’re in the tunnel.” Austin’s gaze narrows, but he catches the key without a single hesitation. I exhale on a shudder, relief washing through me like the finest of breezes. “If we don’t open it, they’ll all die. I can’t do it. You do it. But keep one, for Théo.”
He halts. “What the hell are you—”
“Phoenix!” Kai storms past his cousin, grabbing my arms and checking me all over with his eyes. “Are you hurt? Did they touch you?” His leather jacket glued against his toned chest, dark quiff disheveled and mussed up, as if he’s brushed his hand through it too many times. His eyes are wild, puffy lips pressed together, only barely containing that rage he permanently carries. His hands rub over my skin, searching. “If I find even a single scratch on you, I swear to God—”
“No,” I croak. “I’m okay.” Only I’m not, and he sees it.
“They’re in the tunnel! Let’s get them out!” Austin barks to no one in particular, his heavy gaze on mine. People start moving, people I recognize—Mason, Samuel, a few other members of the family, Connor’s brother Logan. Christ, if he sees me, I’m done for. I take a step back and land against a strong chest. Lemongrass and sandalwood, mixed with a certain arrogance I’ve come to love. Kai presses me closer against his leather jacket, a solid arm around my collarbone.
“I’ve got you,” he murmurs. I swallow thickly, but the lump won’t go away. Instead, a noise scrapes my throat, strangled and raw, obliterating my heart. And all the while, Austin’s eyes are still on mine. He hesitates, then shouts, “Keep Damon there! For Théo.” The last words come out on a mumble, followed by a heavy sigh. “Now we’re even, brother-to-be.” Then he walks away.
Kai turns me around and presses my face into his chest. Nuzzling my hair, he inhales deeply. “I was so fucking worried.” His words wash over me, bringing solace and a different kind of warmth.
“He’s gone, Kai. The revolver went off. They were playing Russian roulette. Théo set the place on fire, then saved me.” I tilt my head back to look at him. He’s dark and dangerous, with that casual scowl on his curvy lips. He’s perfection, the way his smoldering eyes drink me in, waiting for the cotton to disappear, to clear my mind. They do. “I wanted to blame Mom, you know? She asked Nate to write that letter, pretending to be Dad. It was wrong, but she was right. When he vanished, I was broken. And in my mind, memories blended with my hopes. Because my real dad never wanted to have a home with me. Not for a very long time.” Sorrow shapes moisture in the corners of my eyes. “In that letter, Nate described my dreams, gave me the kind of dad I always wanted. And you know what?” Tears are now rolling down my cheeks. I’m exhausted, but can’t stop talking. “I wanted it so badly, that illusion, that I nearly had you killed. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”
“It’s all over now.” Kai presses both arms around my shoulders and squeezes me tight. Leather cracks, and his scent invades my senses like warm liquid. I’m no longer shivering, my feet no longer on the ground, but I hold on tight, my arms around his impressive back, my nose in his armpit. “Put your legs around me like the other day, baby, I’m gonna get you out of here.”
“Everyone, get back to your cars,” someone barks. “Emergency units arrive in 2 minutes.”
“What's going to happen to All Saints?” I ask.
“The boys will take care of that. We leave now.” Kai opens the door, then helps me onto the seat, his hot breaths fanning my neck. The scruff on his jaw brushes my cheek when he leans over and unnecessarily fastens my seatbelt. Far in the background we hear sirens.
“I’m not a cripple, I can do that myself.”
“Yeah?” He traces his fingertips over my lower abdomen and I shiver involuntarily. He grins. “Maybe I just wanted to be nice for once. Now, hold on tight and shut up.” Rolling my eyes at him, I comply. Around us, everyone scatters back to their vehicles. When Kai shuts my door, I let out a breathy exhale, allowing safety and excitement to blanket me. It’s warm in here, the air slightly scented with something sweet. I missed Kai. In those terrifying hours, that could have been days, in which I somehow survived Damon’s thorny wrath, I realized a lot of things. Important things. Such as how I love bossy, sexy Kai. Such as how I love that he makes me feel protected, that he’s got me. Because it was always him, wasn’t it?
He climbs behind the wheel, dark eyes flashing at me, together with a filthy grin, before hitting the gas pedal. The car takes off with shrieking tyres. “Holy—”
He chuckles. “This baby’s got some serious horsepower. Let’s get out of here before the cops show up.” While his fingers leisurely fiddle with the music console, mine grab the chair firmly. I haven’t been in a car since the accident, and even though I’m not the driver this time, it brings a chaos of emotions. He squeezes my thigh. “It was an accident. And you may grieve Rosy’s loss all your life, as long as you don’t blame it on yourself.”
“It was an accident.” The words leave my mouth slowly, my tongue savoring their meaning. It’s the first time since her death that I’ve allowed myself to speak the truth. That someoneelsehas allowed me to speak the truth. I take in a deep breath that turns into a yawn. It feels liberating. And with my head leaning back against the headrest, we leave the port, leave the smoking bar. It’s drizzling outside, the Doors playRiders on the storm, and with all other guys following us in their cars, the emergency services pass us from the opposite direction, their sirens loud and shrill in the smoky air.
We don’t speak during the drive, and at some point my burning eyes can’t stand looking at the city streets anymore. I’d forgotten how quiet it can be in a car. Only our own, private noise that’s practically non-existant. I listen to the music. It’s divine.
I wake up to the sound of rain trickling down the roof of the car and the wipers that are furiously swiping the window. Blinking my bleary eyes, I look outside, not recognizing the neighborhood. “Where are we?”
Kai smiles at me. “I wanna show you something.”
“Show me what?”
“Patience.” He winks. “I’ll show you when we get there.” I spend the rest of the ride with my eyes closed while listening to Kai humming along to the music.
“Do you think the fire will go out quicker because of the rain?”
“I think so, yeah. Plus the firemen were there.”
