AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I grin. “Yes, but it’s thatplusthe marshmallows. Either one on its own is kind of lame, but together they’re spectacular.”
“Well, since I’ve already wowed you with my two greatest skills, I guess we should call it a night.”
He hangs all our food from a tree so bears won’t get into it while I go into the tent. I remove my bra from under my T-shirt, peel off my leggingsandmy panties—ever the optimist—and climb into my sleeping bag. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be a fan of this sleeping situation, but I’m so exhausted from the hike and sore from exertion that simply lying down is bliss.
He crouches to enter, consuming every available inch of space.
I laugh. “I think by ‘two-person tent,’ they meant persons ofmysize, not yours.”
“I think I’ll fit just fine,” he growls, and my stomach tightens. I’ve got no idea if he meant that to sound as filthy as it did.
I hope so.
There’s a thud as his hiking boots land in the corner of the tent, the slide of his zipper. I clench around air simply at the sound, and then he slides into the sleeping bag beside mine but doesn’t pull me toward him.
“Did you have fun today?” There’s detached curiosity in his voice. He doesn’t need me to sayyes. It’s one of the things I love about Beck...he doesn’t make me pretend things are okay if they’re not.
“Yeah, actually. I’m surprised.”
“Flattering.”
I laugh. “You know what I mean.”
I picture what could happen next—how he might say, “I know how to make it more fun,” and roll me beneath him. His mouth on my neck, on my breasts, on my hips. His weight pinning me to the ground as he takes over.
I’m still picturing it when I hear him zip up his sleeping bag and disappointment lands deep in my gut.I guess we’re not making it more fun, then.
The crickets’ buzzing becomes a cacophony outside, but inside the tent I hear only his quiet breathing, which grows even as he falls asleep.
Meanwhile, I’m taut with yearning, nipples stiff against my T-shirt, imagining all the things hecouldhave done tonight. We are like a story that was cut off just before the end, a story I wasreallyinvested in.
I roll his way. I never get to just gaze at him. It’s a somewhat pathetic silver lining to tonight’s abrupt end, but it’s all I’ve got.
He’s wide awake, facing me. “I thought you’d fallen asleep,” he says.
Our eyes hold until he bridges the distance, his mouth locking with mine, making a noise that is half relief and half pain. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer as he tugs my sleeping bag open and one hand slides over my hip. The kiss is soft, and his fingers are light as they brush between my legs, teasing and gentle. The world outside falls silent—there is only the sound of me growing slick at his touch, his quiet grunt against my ear when I arch into his hand.
“I’ve spent the whole day wanting to be inside you,” he says. His voice is low and rough, a thread of an ache in it that I’ve never heard before. “The whole fucking day.”
He reaches behind him and grabs the condom he apparently had waiting, just in case, and then he kneels between my spread thighs, rolling it on while he looks at me as if I’m the only thing he’s ever wanted. He pushes inside me, and I tip from the cusp of pain to something I’ve never experienced with anyone else.
My skin is too tight, my blood too hot. I want every inch of him covering me and the taste of him on my tongue and yet . . . there’s something sweet beneath it at the same time. Something expanding in my chest as I watch him, that happiness from earlier still echoing, demanding my attention.
He thrusts and I struggle to keep my eyes open from the pleasure. But I want to. I want to memorize the strain on his face, the focus, the way he grows heavy-lidded and dazed like a junkie as a needle hits the vein.
The tent echoes with the sounds we make—the wet slap of skin on skin, my gasps, his grunts. I cry out and he swells inside me, coming with those violent, involuntary thrusts of his.
He lets his weight collapse on top of me the way I’d hoped he would, leaving us joined and perfect.
Why is it so much better with him?
I silence the thought the second I hear it. And then another deeply disloyal thought comes unbidden, one I can’t entirely silence:How will I stand to go through my whole life without ever having this again?
28
BECK
We don’t discuss it because that would require words she can’t say.
