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“I’m going to need money for that.”
“Don’t you have a job?”
No, actually, I don’t.“Doesn’t mean I’m funding your plan.”
“It’s notmyplan, it’sourplan, but fine.” He opens his wallet and pulls out five hundred. “That enough?”
I could buy five grams for that much. But I’m happy to part an asshole from his money. I slide the bills across the table and tuck them into my purse. “So I buy the cocaine, and then what?”
“Then you plant it in her car while she’s doing this kid shit at someone’s house for Halloween. It’s pretty secluded, so no one will see you.”
“How do you even know where she’ll be?”
“I have a bunch of her passwords,” he says, untroubled by how invasive this is. Of course, he’s framing her for drug possession, so I can see where Internet surveillance might seem like an easy day on the job by contrast.
“So I plant the cocaine, and then what?”
“Then you tell me you’ve done it, and I place a call and report her as soon as she’s picked the twins up from school. The rest should take care of itself.”
I finish my coffee and leave him at the table, only halfway through his meal. By the time I reach the door, I’ve put the conversation out of my head.
But I remember it pretty fast when I see Beck standing beside my car.
“Were you with Jeremy?” he asks, but his voice is flat and certain, as if he already knows.
I’ve been caught doing a lot of shit in my life, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this guilty about any of it. My stomach falls so hard that I have to fight the urge to hold it in place.
As they say, though—offense is the best defense.
“Did youfollowme here?” I demand, mastering the tremble in my lips as it comes out.And why the fuck am I trembling? He slept with Suzanne, for God’s sake.“I have the right to go to breakfast with a friend if I want.”
“As I’ve told you before, there are only two reasons you’d be talking to Jeremy, and they both suck.” His eyes are empty as he speaks. That he isn’t even reacting frightens me—he’s not mad. He’sdone. Done with me, done with my bullshit, and I guess I should have figured that out last night, but my stomach drops anyway. I want to scramble, beg, do or say whatever I can to change his mind. It’s that same embarrassing weakness I allowed myself to show as a kid, and it never paid off once.
“You seriously think I’d date Jeremy? Unlike you, I don’t fuck any human garbage I find in my path.”
“So you and Jeremy are trying to break Lucie and Caleb up.”
I might as well come clean—nothingI’ve done to Lucie is as bad as him sleeping with Suzanne last night, and I’m not giving him another chance. “Have we tried to make Lucie think Caleb was cheating in a variety of ways? Sure. I went to crazy lengths to make her think that. But that’s not what was happening today, and just because you and I have been fucking around doesn’t mean you get to dictate how I spend my time. Especially after you spent the night with Suzanne.”
His eyes turn black, utterly cold. “I was with Liam, not Suzanne, but it doesn’t matter at this point.”
He didn’t cheat.
God. Of course he didn’t.
I’m not evensurprised. I ruined it...because I wanted to ruin it, didn’t I? Because the mere possibility of him cheating took my breath away.
I didn’t want to be hurt again, but I wound up hurting us both.
He climbs on his bike and doesn’t even turn to face me as he speaks. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. From that first night I saw you standing outside The Midnight House. So, I waited, because I knew you and Caleb wouldn’t last.” He puts on his helmet and flips up the visor as he starts the bike. “But who you are right now? That’s not the girl I met that night. And that’s not the girl I waited for. Hannah’s gone, Kate. So is Caleb. And one of these days you’ll need to move on, but I’m done waiting for it to happen. I’ll give you a few hours to get your stuff out of my place. Be gone by the time I get home.”
He backs out and drives away, and I grip the door of my car, swaying on my feet. Tears stream down my face, and I can’t summon the effort to wipe them away.
Why am I here, outside this restaurant? Why did I ever agree to meet Jeremy in the first place? It’s not Caleb I want now, and I’m not sure it ever was.
He loved me.
I think I knew this. All those nights he spent helping me get the nursery ready because Caleb was at work, all the times I heard him argue with Caleb on my behalf. And I loved him too. I told myself I just wished my husband were morelikehim, but there was a part of me that wished I were with him instead. Only I didn’t want to admit it, I couldn’t admit it, because it would have meant losing what I had.
