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“How dare he date another woman while he’s dating you? My daughter deserves better than that!”
I feel like I’ve been transported into an alternate universe where I grew up with a different mother entirely. Yelling at Tim is not what I would have expected from Margie. The Mom I know would have either marched into work and demanded that I take action and get my man back, or she would have asked what I did wrong to make his eyes wander.
“Tim believes in dating multiple women at once,” I tell her. “He wants to make sure he knows what’s out there, so he makes the right decision when it comes to being exclusive.”
“And you’re okay with that?”Who is this woman and what has she done with my mom?
“I was at the beginning.”
“Why?”
“Geez, Mom, I don’t know. I guess because I don’t have great self-esteem when it comes to men.”
She has the nerve to say, “I thought I taught you better than that.”
“Really?”Where did she get that idea?While I don’t remember how she was with my dad, she bows and scrapes to Howard like he’s a king and she’s his serving staff.
“I’ve told you time and again that you deserve the best,” she maintains.
I briefly wonder if she’s delusional. “You’ve told me time and again what you think of the men I’ve dated, and it’s never been flattering.”
Her face screws up in a look of genuine confusion. “I’ve told you what I thought about their character.”
“Which has been nothing but a laundry list of complaints,” I remind her.
“If that’s true, it’s because I always thought you could do better.”
I know I shouldn’t say what pops into my head, but as I’ve previously mentioned, I don’t have a good history of listening to my own advice. “I thinkyoucan do better, too, but I’ve managed not to tell you that every day.”
She jolts like I’ve nudged her with a cattle prod. “You think I can do better than Howard? Howard is a wonderful man. He’s been very successful in his life, and he’s nice to me.”
“Howard treats you like his maid,” I tell her. “And his cook.”
My mom looks so baffled, I instantly regret saying that. When she finds her voice, she asks, “Have you always thought this?”
I nod my head before asking, “When is the last time Howard cleaned the house or shopped for food? Or cooked anything, for that matter?”
She looks like I just asked her what the square root of eight hundred and seventy-two thousand and five is. “I don’t think he ever has. But that’s because the house is my job.”
“I have no beef with women being traditional wives, if that’s their bag, but you are also the only one working. You can’t be everything, Mom. It’s too much.”
“But Howard is retired. I’m not.”
“Even more reason to let him pick up some of the slack at home.”
“But what if he won’t do it?”
“Then kick his sorry ass to the curb. Geez, Mom, you can’t tell me you think I’m worth so much when you won’t even acknowledge your own value.”
She leans into the counter like her legs are about to give out from under her. “Missy, I don’t know where all this is coming from.”
“Then I’ll tell you.” I walk out from behind the counter and take her arm. Leading her to the seating area, I say, “You can’t be mad at me for making lousy choices when that’s been my role model.”Yes, that’s mean, but I’m not done.“We are both better than we’ve allowed ourselves to be treated, and I think it’s time we both realize that.”
She doesn’t seem ready to absorb that information. So, she deflects. “But what about Tim? You can’t seriously be thinking of still seeing him.” We sit down on chairs facing each other.
“I already broke it off with him, Mom.”
She nods her head firmly. “Good.” As soon as that sinks in, she adds, “Oh dear, I owe him an apology then. I probably shouldn’t have thrown that glass of wine on him.”
