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“I know, right? And while they probably would have made a fortune with it, Johnny Cash did not want his song used to describe hemorrhoids.”
“How does that relate to baby formula?”
“My point is that being funny isn’t always the way to go. Especially when dealing with the delicate emotions of a new mother.” It’s possible Beth’s postpartum depression has made me extra touchy to this topic, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
“What would you suggest instead?” He doesn’t sound pleased.
“How about ‘Baby, Baby’ by the Talking Heads? It’s old enough that we could probably get it for a song—pun intended—and it’s fun and upbeat.”
“Dammit, Jamie, I hate when you do that.”
I take a sip of my coffee before asking, “Do what?”
“Come up with an idea that’s better than mine right off the cuff. It’s annoying.”
“That’s why I own the company,” I tease him.
“Fine, I’ll contact the record label and see how much it will cost and then I’ll storyboard the commercial. I don’t suppose you have any ideas about that, too?”
“Do a sped-up montage with everyone in a family playing with their baby and then end the scene with the father giving the baby a bottle while the mother sleeps. That shows the upside of formula without making the mother feel bad she’s not breastfeeding. Plus, every new mother dreams of uninterrupted sleep.”
“That’s good,” he says appreciatively. “But I’m taking credit for it.”
“Have at it, Connor. I’m going to call it a day and go hang with Sammy for a while. Email me any updates.”
Being that I’m planning on cutting back my workload anyway, I might as well start now. After hanging up, I punch in my daughter’s number. She doesn’t answer, so I send a text. I don’t know why kids respond to texts but act like they can’t hear a phone ring.
I have to laugh when I see how Sammy changed my phone name.
Daddio: You want to go paddleboarding?
Sam: I thought you were working?
Daddio: Paddleboarding sounds like more fun.
Sam: I’m hanging out with my new math teacher.
Daddio: ???
Sam: She’s spilling the tea on everyone at Elk Lake Junior High.
Daddio: When will you be done?
Sam: I’ll call you, okay?
Daddio: Should I go without you or wait to hear?
Sam: Go without me. I’ll catch you next time.
How about that? The first day in a new town and Sammy is already navigating her new path like a pro. I should have asked her where she met her new math teacher, but I’m guessing she walked over to the school. Smart girl.
After changing into my swimming suit, I put on my Smart Watch so Sammy can get ahold of me if she needs to while I’m out on the water. Then I drive down to the pier. It only takes ten minutes to get to the other side of the lake where the rentals are. Sammy and I will have to buy our own paddleboards now that we live here.
The kid behind the desk takes my credit card and gets me set up. “We blow a horn ten minutes before the hour, so you have time to get back to the dock if you don’t want to pay for a longer rental.”
“I remember that from last summer,” I tell him with a nod.
“Cool. Don’t forget, speed boats are on the other side of the buoys, so stay within the bounds.”
