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Once the men move to the other side of the ballroom from the women, I decide to introduce myself to Chip Baker. Not only do we live in the same town, but I’d like to figure out why Paige hates him so much.
As I walk toward him, I realize he looks as nervous as I feel. “Hey, there. It’s Chip, right?”
His head pops up. “Do I know you?”
“I’m Tim Ferris,” I tell him. “My family owns the country club.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I cringe. It sounds like I’m bragging.
“Really? So, you’re working here?” he asks.
“I oversee things.” He appears confused so I hurry to add, “But I’m also on the show.”
He looks me up and down before saying, “All the women are going to fall for you for sure.” He does not sound pleased.
“I highly doubt that. I’m sure there will be someone for everyone.”
He doesn’t appear to believe me, so I change the subject. “There’s another person on theshow from Elk Lake.”
His eyes roll around like he’s about to have a seizure. “I know. Her name is Paige Holland. Be careful, she’s a real witch.”
Figuring it’s better to come clean from the start, I tell him, “Paige and I are friends. We were in the same graduating class.”
Chip looks like he just swallowed his tongue. He coughs loudly before saying, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I really don’t know Paige that well.”
“It sounds like she’s made an impression though.”
“You could say that. I don’t think she likes me.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” I tell him. “Paige is very nice when she wants to be.”
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t want to be nice to me.”
“If I were you,” I tell him, “I wouldn’t let her see that you’re bothered by her. Just treat her like you’d treat your great aunt with gout.”
Chip releases a bark of laughter. “I actually have a great aunt with gout. Aunt Elinor. She doesn’t like me either.”
“Okay then, treat Paige like you’d treat an elderly neighbor.”
Chip’s chin moves up and down. “I could do that, but I’m probably better off just staying away from her. I don’t want to tempt her into throwing anything at me.”
“I don’t think she’d do that.” I only say that to be comforting. The truth is, I can quite easily envision Paige beaning Chip in the head with a baguette.
“Are you nervous about being on the show?” he asks.
Now seems to be a good time to start pretending I’m an outgoing playboy. “Not at all. We’re going to have a lot of fun, I’m sure of it.”Sell it, Tim.
“Did Trina tell you who she thinks you might be a good match with?” He hurries to say, “I’m not asking who it is, I’m just wondering.”
“She did, but I’m looking forward to making up my own mind.”
Chip tugs at the neck of his sweater like it’s started to choke him and he’s trying to get some air. He traded his Mr. Rogerscardigan in for a more traditional pullover. “I’ve never been a great dater. I’m more of a serial monogamist.”
“If you don’t date, how do you meet the women who become your girlfriends?”
He gives up on his neckline in lieu of shifting his weight from foot-to-foot. As he picks up the speed he starts to look like he’s doing some kind of weird polka. “Mostly through other people. Friends set me up, family members introduce me around … Finding my own love interest is going to be a novel experience. How about you?”
I’m not sure if I’m going to tell people about Eva yet, so I say, “I’m a pretty proficient dater.”
“I would be too if I looked like you. You have that kind of golden, California-surfer thing going on.”
