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“Do you still love your ex?” Cami wants to know.
I don’t have to think about my answer. “No. But I’m hurt, and I feel like a fool. I loved the person I thought Eva was, but it turns out that was just a part she was playing.”
“So why not be open to finding a love match here?” Cami asks. “Wouldn’t that be the ultimate revenge?”
Huh. She might be right. I’m going to have to think about that. “Maybe.”
Paige rolls her eyes. “Not maybe. The answer is yes. Happiness is always the best revenge.”
Even though Paige is right, I don’t want to get Cami’s hopes up. “Let’s leave it as maybe for now.”
“Happiness is a choice, Tim,” Paige announces like she’s taken on the role of my personal guru.
“Anger is also a choice,” Cami confirms.
I abruptly stand up. “Okay, ladies. I think we’re done for tonight. I hear you both loud and clear. If my motivation changes for being on this show, I’ll make sure to let you know. In the meantime, please keep my history to yourselves. I don’t need the whole world feeling sorry for me.”
“Eva is the villain, Tim,” Paige says. “If anything, people finding out about her would make her look bad, not you.”
“Paige,” I say in a warning tone. “People already know Eva left me for Holden. And so far, no one seems to care.”
“Only because they haven’t heard your side of it,” she says.
“What in the world could I say that wouldn’t make me look like a total loser?” I demand.
Cami says, “No one would think you’re a loser, Tim. From what I can tell, you’re a great guy who was married to a not-so-great woman.”
“On that note,” I tell them, “I really am done talking about this.” I turn to Cami and tell her, “I hope you meet someone nice on the show.”
Before I walk away, Paige demands, “What about me? Don’t you hopeImeet someone nice, too?”
I stare at her long and hard before answering, “I hope you get the man you deserve.” I realize this may not sound like warm wishes for her future, but I’m so annoyed with Paige right now, I can’t come right out and wish her the best. Having said that, I hope to hell Fielden Marsh isn’t the man she winds up with.
That thought makes my blood run positively cold.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
PAIGE
Tim’s parting shot plagues me the whole way home from the mixer. He hopes I get the guy Ideserve?Well, so do I, buddy, but just so you know, I deserve the best. Why didn’t I tell him that before he stormed away?
As soon as I walk through my front door, I take my coat off and climb the stairs to my room. Once I’m in my Winnie the Pooh onesie pajamas, I sprawl across my baby-pink furry duvet and call Missy.
Instead of easing into the conversation, she answers by excitedly asking, “How did it go? Did you have fun? Was the lawyer as fabulous as Trina said he was?”
“Hello to you, too,” I say. It’s a good thing I trust my friend so much because I immediately launch into the events of the evening—non-disclosure agreement be damned. In order to paint an accurate picture of the night, I jabber on for a half hour, spilling every detail I can think of.
When I finally come up for air, Missy surmises, “So you’re mad at Tim, not interested in the lawyer, and you’re on track to be the bad guy this season. Did anythinggoodhappen?”
“The buffet was outstanding,” I tell her. “The tempura shrimp in particular.”
“Shoot.” She sounds as disappointed for me as I am for myself. “Don’t give up hope. It was just the first mixer. I’m sure it will get better over time.”
“Or worse.” No sense in pretending that’s not a possibility.
“Paige.” Her tone sounds stern before turning sympathetic. “I know you and I know why you don’t think you deserve a great guy, but I’m telling you right now the past is long gone. You’ve been a total smoke show for years and it’s time to embrace that. Quit being a negative Nelly.”
I hate when people pretend to know what it was like to be me. Unless they’ve walked a mile in my shoes—the ones with the raised right heel so my legs could be the same length while we waited for my spine to align— they have no idea. “You were a great friend, Missy, and you still are, but there’s no way you can know how insecure my past has made me.”
