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Finally, he faced me, easing back through the door. Whatever he’d been talking about, I didn’t have a clue. He was so good at hiding what he didn’t want me to know.
“Was that the doctor? What did he say? Did he tell you the results?” When he didn’t speak, I turned more on my bed, letting my feet dangle as I contemplated standing. “I never ask you for anything. I try to be who you want me to be. I like that person. I…” My voice caught, and I cleared my throat, trying to get a grasp on who I even was anymore. I was so confused. So torn on every single thing that was happening. “Please.”
“They’re getting the paperwork ready now. I have to sign a few things.” My Master sat in the chair along the wall, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared ahead. He wasn’t right. This wasn’t his normal behavior, but what was it? Shock? Disappointment? I couldn’t tell and that had me more emotional than ever. I shouldn’t want any of this. It was my demise. It was selfish and wrong. But who was I if not what I was made to be? I didn’t think I was facing death anytime soon. I was here, so what did any of this mean?It was going to drive me mad.
“Husband?”
The one word was filled with so much anguish it nearly broke me. That woman who spoke, she wasn’t me. Yet…she was. And he knew her. He created her. The call had my Master’s eyes lifting right to mine. Everything I couldn’t ask was spoken in that plea.
“I’ll be leaving in the morning. I think given the circumstances, it’s what’s best for both of us. You know how to order in. Apparently, there’s things here to do, and I’ve been assured this place is safe. I wouldn’t suggest leaving the apartment, but I’m not going to lock you inside either since I have no idea when I’ll return.”
“You’re leaving?”
“You’re safer here alone. I have things to think over.”
I did stand then. Nothing about what he was saying made sense. He was leaving me here, alone, and by myself? No locks? No…rules? I was just free to do as I wanted?
“Safer? But.” I took another step. “I don’t understand.” Another. “Did the doctor tell you the results? Is that why you’re leaving? Just tell me. Be honest,please.”
He surged forward, his hand shooting out as he snatched my hair and drew me in close. My teeth rattled through the hard shake, but he didn’t let go. He was forcing me to keep my stare on his.
“Honest? Fine. How blunt would you like me to be? You’re not pregnant, and your period will be here soon. You’re of no use to me, so I think I’ll get some work done in the outside world until you are. How’s that? Feel better?”
“No. I don’t know how to feel.”
“You knew how a few hours ago.”
“You put me in a corner.In chains. The look in your eyes said everything. You were going to kill me or at least come close. If it were only me that would be fine, but I didn’t know if that was the case. Killing a child...I will never just allow that to happen. I can’t. It’s not part of who I am. I don’t care what the circumstances are. Children are innocent. Pure. You wanted a good mother for your child. You can’t fault me for trying to be one.”
He let go, and I turned, heading back to the bed. As I took in the news, I still wasn’t sure how to feel. A part of me was crying out in relief. Yet, I couldn’t deny the piece inside me that was still mourning the loss of my first child. The mother in me was there.It needed, even pleaded for the role to be filled. How was that normal? How was that okay? I was sick. I couldn’t deny it, even if I knew something was wrong.
“You’re thinking awfully hard up there, wife.”
“Of course I am. You’releavingme, just like everyone else.”
“Did you expect me to live here? I have businesses to run. A life to live. I got you to breed, and I’m sticking to that plan. Until you’re of use again, I won’t be here.”
But it didn’t sound as if he were happy about any of that. He still kept slipping into moments of silence. To thoughts so deep, he seemed to disappear from here completely. It put me on edge, but it had to be from the overall scare. He had wanted the risk, and well, he got it. It was obviously more than he could handle so what did that mean for me?
Master B-0999
“Play the video again.”
“Edward, the presentation was fine. Foxwell accepted. Why continue to pick apart something that went down flawlessly? I don’t understand what’s going on with you. You’ve been different the last couple of weeks. Is everything okay?”
I glanced at my partner, shoving my hands in my pockets. It wasn’t just ‘weeks’…it was two weeks and four days. Eighteen days of absolute torturous hell. Every day was a struggle not to jump on my jet and head to Colorado. Every second, I longed for a woman who I called my wife. Work used to calm and settle the beast inside, but that wasn’t the case this time. Eighteen. Fucking. Days. It was nothing in the sense of time, and yet, it was the longest period of my life.
“I’m fine. I should really be going. I’m going to be late.”
“Dinner with Wilfred?”
“The one and only.”
“How nice. Tell your mother I said hello.”
“I’ll do that, John.” I went to continue, stopping to once again pull at my tie. “I forgot to mention, I have some business to take care of. I won’t be in tomorrow. Or this week at all. Look over things, will you?”
“You bet.”
