Page 108 of Wilds of the Heart


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That day that the car showed up and the rental guy handed me the key to the hotel, I knew that Lucas really understood me.

He got me when I didn’t even get myself.

Lucas saw that it was exhaustion driving my decisions and reactions. He saw that before I did. I’d become a mess of emotions, and the truth of it was that very little of it had anything to do with Clara. In hindsight, it made sense that he’d try to hash it out with her while his cousin was there.

What threw me over the edge was that I’d done something that I’d been afraid to do for years.

I let myself fall in love.

But not with just anyone.

Someone who meant the world to me.

When I’d finally had my first full night's sleep and woke up the next morning, I knew that I couldn’t wait to go home to Lucas, but I needed to focus on this residency. Get my project done with no interruptions.

When the first package arrived from Lucas, I took it to my hotel room and opened the box to see a life-size poster of Lucas and a web address.

I would never forget those feelings that swept through me. Love washed over me that day like I’d never experienced, and he wasn’t even in the room. By the time I went to the website, it felt like my heart was going to explode with emotion.

I sat on the plane before it took off, whisking me back home to Marigold Island for good, but I clicked on the video one last time before I landed in Seattle. His booming voice came through my headphones, and my heart immediately swelled.

You’re so talented, Emily, and I’m so proud of everything you’re accomplishing while you’re away. I don’t want to become a distraction. We have a lifetime to be there for oneanother, but I don’t want you to look back at this opportunity and wish I wasn’t part of it. Just know how much I love you and miss you. You’re always free to follow your heart, and I hope it always whispers to come back home to me. I’ll be waiting for you.

My heart clenched with the emotion running through his voice, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.

To say that absence made my heart grow fonder was an understatement, but I needed the time to prove to myself that I’d made the right choice.

And he knew that.

In the middle of it all, I got this nagging feeling that I had to go somewhere, stay somewhere, and just roam until the feeling went away.

But I didn’t realize that was merely fear. I was afraid to let myself imagine a different life.

I wouldn’t have known that had I not had the time away. I wish I would have known without the distance, but that wasn’t how my heart worked. I needed to hear the whispers of my heart over the screams of my mind.

As our plane hit cruising altitude, I clutched my phone in my hand and drifted to sleep, surprised when we landed in Seattle.

By the time I’d disembarked, my heart raced excitedly, and I knew I had to commit. I had to make my choice.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Lucas

I knew when she hung up with me that something was off. But I also knew with her in Tennessee and me in Washington, now wasn’t the time to pressure her. She already had so much on her plate and there were three weeks left in her program.

So when I got the text a few days later that she needed time, I promised myself that I would give it to her. I vowed not to tarnish the gift she’d been given with the residency. I’d already done damage by foolishly meeting with Clara, thinking I’d put a stop to things.

Unfortunately, I wound up talking to our lawyers, and they suggested sending a strongly worded letter since it was unlikely that anything else could be done.

It seemed to have worked, but my relationship with Emily still hung in the air.

But it was Friday night, and Emily was back on Marigold Island, so I did what any normal almost-ex would do. I wentto her favorite hangout spot, found a corner booth, and cracked open my grandmother’s poetry book.

And I waited.

Praying the book of poems I had with me would be enough of a sign for Emily.

Every single time the door opened, my gaze would flash to the person walking in, and I started to wonder if maybe Emily wasn’t going to show up.

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