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“Uh, Rebelle?” his voice wavered. She hadneverheard his voice waver in all the weeks they had spent together. Not when he argued with suppliers on the phone, not when he discoveredwhat horrible things humans could do to animals, not at any of her sniping comments and there had beenplenty. Nothing had affected him and dulled his attitude. It was now; in the wake of what she made him do that his voice betrayed him.
Guilt twisted her stomach and she nearly retched. What the hell had she done? She swallowed past the spikes in her throat. “I’m sorry, Will. You can just go, it’s fine.”
“But Belle, I want to talk ab-”
“I said it’s fine, we’ll talk in the morning!”
There was silence from the other side of the door and then a moment later she heard the banging of the front door in the frame and squeezed her eyes shut. Her anxiety flared, her breathing still struggled. She needed her candle.
She fled the bathroom and ran into her bedroom, grabbing for the candle and squeezing it to her chest, breathing in its scent. She waited but it didn’t calm her. She ran through the techniques Justine had shown her and settled on one.
“S-STOPP,” she scolded herself. “Stop. Pause a moment. Take a deep breath.” She inhaled deeply, the rose scent starting to take the edge off her anxiety. “Observe. What are you reacting to and what are the sensations in your body. Pull Back and Perspective. What is the bigger picture?”
She faced herself in the mirror on the dressing table, examining her wild eyes. She took a deep breath and considered what she was reacting to: her sexual encounter with Will. The first sexual encounter she’d had withanyonein a very long time. She had done it, had taken control of the moment and what frightened her, what had set her off, was how much she had enjoyed doing it. And doing it to Will specifically. This big strong man who was larger than life had been so vulnerable with her, so open and her body still tingled and ached for him even now.
She tried to pull back, take the helicopter view, just as Justine had taught her, and gain some perspective. Except thatperspective worried her. She had just crossed a major line with Will considering the professional relationship they had now.
A low rumbling broke into her thoughts and she glanced down to find Parfait watching her with enquiring bright eyes as her kittens mewled around her. There seemed to be some judgement in the feline’s gaze but Rebelle knew she was imagining it.
She got into bed, hoping to push this evening’s events to the back of her brain. Ignoring the need her body was trying to get her to alleviate, she tried to fall asleep, but sleep would not come. Her mind whirred away with old memories of Marcus and new ones of Will.
When the sun rose in the morning, she gave up trying to sleep and got ready for a day at the shelter. She left the bedroom and as soon as she entered the living room and spotted the two mugs of raspberry tea, images from last night consumed her. Will’s groans and sighs of pleasure, the way he worked himself. She grabbed the mugs and spun away, washing the cups out in the sink and leaving them to drain on the side.
She gave Parfait some pats, hoping the cat would forgive her for her actions against Will and she left for the shelter. She visited each pen, greeting the dogs and giving them a stroke before she reached Bryan’s kennel. The hound was lying in his bed and refused to come over to her.
She sighed when she realized she had been distracted when Will dropped her off and hadn’t collected Bryan to bring him into the trailer for the night.
“I’m sorry, Bryan. It was a hectic evening, I didn’t mean to forget you,” she crooned. His eyebrows worked overtime as he flicked his puppy dog stare over her before he gave in, hefting himself to his feet and coming over. She ruffled his coarse fur and opened his kennel, letting him out, knowing he would stay by her side.
The sound of footsteps had her stomach clenching and she swiveled slowly and watched Will come in through the door, the sun haloing him from behind. His crisp white shirt looking freshly pressed, his black suspenders holding his black slacks in place.
“Morning,” he said, giving her that megawatt smile and his eyes crinkled at the corners. The familiar smell of sandalwood wafted towards her, and it was like Pavlov’s scent. She practically started salivating.
She noticed the takeout cups in his hands and waited for the overpowering scent of coffee to hit her and make her nauseous but it didn’t. He held out one to her and she glanced down, seeing the raspberry tea. After everything she’d done, he was still so good to her. She had to make this right.
She pulled herself to her full height, which wasn’t much but it felt like a power pose and she drew strength from it.
“I would like to apologize, for, uh, last night,” she stuttered, tugging at the end of her shirt. “I crossed a line between us and it shouldn-”
He cocked his head. “No.”
She blinked. “No?”
“I don’t accept.”
Her mouth flapped as she floundered for words. “But-”
His grin widened. “I loved it.”
Her thoughts stopped whirring and became strangely quiet as she absorbed what he said. They regarded each other; his eyes never waning from hers.
“But I force-”
“Oh hell no you didn’t. Like I said, Ilovedit. It was consensual, there wasn’t a single part about what we did that I didn’t love. Except the end that is, when you ran way and hid from me instead of discussing it like adults.” His mouth drew into a straight line before he continued. “It was perfect. Howcould you think I didn’t like it? Did you not see how quick on the trigger I was?”
Her brow furrowed. “Quick on the what? Did you say trigger?”
“Yeah, you know…” He mimicked an explosion with his hands and the flush started at her toes and worked its way right up to her neck and cheeks.
