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Then a thought occurred to me. “Do you not… want me?” Maybe that was worse. He’d been chasing after me, sure, but… I thought I might die of mortification if he said that he regrettedme.
“No.” He winced. “I mean,yes,I do,I just… I want…” He struggled with his words. “More.”
“What? More sex?” I struggled not to make a pained face, but it was hard. Maybe Iwasright, and that was all he’d wantedfrom me all along. Sex—good sex, great sex, even—but I was just a body to warm his bed. The blood drained from my face.
Pulling away, I was suddenly aware of just how cold it was outside when his body heat left mine.
“No.” He caught my wrist before I could grab the doorknob, holding me in place.
I almost growled in frustration. “What are you saying, Cameron?”
“I like you, Ella. I wantyou. All of you. And until you’re ready to admit that you want me, too…”
“But Idowant you.”
“Not like that. Not the way I want you.”
I frowned. “Cameron. You’re not making any sense.” Sex, I could deal with. Sex madesense.
But what he was asking me for now… I bit my lip, unable to take my eyes off of his face even in the dim closet. Us, together in bed, we made sense. Everything else was the part that I didn’t know how to deal with.
The flirty, charming mask fell away, and the man I’d gotten to know was all that was left underneath.
“I don’t just want a hookup, Ella. I wantallof you. Your mind.” He tapped my forehead. “Your heart.” He ran the same finger down to my chest, circling the spot where my heart must have been beating a million miles per minute. “And your body, too, yes. But not just someone to fuck. And if that’s all this is to you…” He trailed off, not finishing the thought.
“Is that what you think?” I grimaced. “That I’ve just been using you for your body?” That stung. And it was even worse, because I’d just been thinking that ofhim.I winced.
“I don’t know what to think. That’s the problem.”
“Cameron…”
He tilted my chin up to bring our eyes together. “I’m willing to fight for you. But I need to know that you want to fight for me, too. So until you are…” He shook his head. “We shouldn’t do this anymore.”
I blinked. “Are you telling me you’re withholding sex until I tell you Ilikeyou?” Crossing my arms over my chest, I pouted at him. “That seems like a terrible punishment.”
“If anyone’s being punished, it’s me, Princess. Because I’m always going to make you come.”
My cheeks were hot as he lowered my leg back down to the floor, helping me straighten my dress.
He placed a kiss on my forehead before sliding out the door, only stopping at the last minute to make eye contact with me.
“You know where to find me when you decide what you want, baby.” Cam looked serious. “I just hope that’s me.”
I didn’t come out for a few minutes, not until my breathing had returned to normal and my cheeks stopped being on fire, and all I could think about were his words.
I want you.
But what did I want?
“Where were you?” Audrey murmured, looking behind me as if she expected someone to be right behind me.
“Bathroom,” I murmured, because it was better than the truth.Getting an orgasmseemed like the wrong thing to say here.
“Did you lose Cam?” She asked, looking around.
“No.” I mean, I had, but not in the way she was thinking.
Since he left me in the closet, I hadn’t caught a glimpse of him. I didn’t know if he’d left, or if he was simply avoiding me, but I didn’t like the fact that he might have left without even saying goodbye.
