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“They were… everywhere.” He sucks in a pained breath. So much progress had been made since his last shooting, and now, he’s been shot in the leg and it looks like his stitches ripped open. “I was catching up with Yari out back when they came. Fucking air support, too.”
“Air support?”
Pavel nods. “Oleg’s outsourcing. Hired mercenaries. All local, by what I could catch between gunshots. He and Patterson used them to clear a path to Willow.” His gaze lowers. “I’m sorry, Clara. I got here as fast as I could. Got a few shots in but then they were too close to her and I didn’t… The risk…”
I rush to his side and loop my arms around his neck. “It’s okay. I know. You love her.” I hear my voice break. “We all love her.”
He nods. Then he looks to Demyen again and straightens, forcing himself to limp a few paces to his friend and boss. “I wouldn’t gamble with it, but you’ve got time. Princess won’t let anyone near Willow, and Patterson’s too chickenshit to do anything about it. He took them both. Had to let Willow hold the leash so he wouldn’t get mauled by the dog.”
And to think I had reservations over adopting a battle-bred pit bull to protect my baby.
Subconsciously, I press a hand over my stomach. I’ve gottwobabies to think about.Twobabies I’m determined to protect even as my heart races and my gut churns with fear.
Nothing that comes to mind keeps both of them safe. I have to risk one for the other and pray I pull through. Can I?
Should I?
“How many did we lose?” Demyen asks Pavel. He quickly nods to Mako, who is now on his feet and slowly making his way around the courtyard to check on more survivors.
Pavel frowns. “I’ve been taking inventory and trying to get a solid head count. That’s where I was after I heard you lay into the old man. Figured you had it handled.” At Demyen’s curt nod, hesighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Twenty. At least. Boris and Alexandr are gone. I’ve got Lukas, Dmitri, and Vlad resting in my room since they were close enough to drag there myself. The others… I don’t know.”
Demyen spits another Russian curse and kicks at one of the overturned deck chairs. “Boris washisman. Alexandr practically grew up with him. How the hell could he do this?”
I quietly slip away from the conversation. I need space and quiet to gather my own thoughts. But I can’t help but feel the claws of guilt sink into my stomach once again.
All this happened—because ofme.
He’s lost good men—because ofme.
Pavel, Mako, Bambi, Roxy… none of them deserved this. None of them deserved to be pulled into my world, my personal hell. None of them deserved to be forced to pay this kind of price for simply existing. For fuckingcaring. And—I glance over at Demyen—for loving.
All this is my fault.
I need to make it right.
37
CLARA
I kick off my heels and pad my way across the courtyard to my own suite. The concrete floor feels warm and soothing to my bare feet, though I have to be careful not to step on any broken glass.
Or bullets.
Or bodies.
It feels strange to be back in here after so long. I’ve been using it more as an extended closet and for Willow’s bath times ever since I basically moved into Demyen’s quarters.
The luggage he let me borrow for Fiji is still in the closet. I grab the biggest suitcase first and toss it onto the bed, flip the lid open, and start shoving clothes and toiletries in. There’s no rhyme or reason to how I pack—it’s more important that I get enough in to last me a few weeks, if possible. And that I get this done quickly.
I’m so engrossed in planning my next few moves that I almost don’t notice the door open. But I do, in time to seeDemyen standing there with his mouth partially open. He seems surprised, or at least confused.
“What are you doing?”
I wipe my clammy hands on my thighs and swallow the sudden lump of nervousness in my throat. I really,reallydo not want to have this conversation.
But some things can’t be avoided.
I take a deep breath. And let it out.Good Lord,I feel like I’m deflating. “I’m leaving.”
