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“Thank you,” she says, but her voice is empty. She retracts her hands and glances at the oven’s clock. “I have to get to class.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Wes
Athelia’s blatant rejection of my apology sends me reeling. Once I’m finished with classes, I spend the rest of the day locked in my room. Even when I hear the others downstairs in the kitchen making dinner, I don’t come out.
Instead, I sit on my bed in near-total darkness. My curtains are only open a few inches, letting in some of the warm glow from the streetlights outside. I twist my skull ring around my finger, staring at it.
My father gave it to me mere weeks before he died. He said he saw it one day and it reminded him of me, so he got it on a whim. It made me feel so special and loved. He always did.
Back then, I promised myself I’d grow up to be just like him. I’d be big and strong yet affectionate and caring. I’d show my own wife and children that they’d always come first.
Now, I feel like I’m at war with myself. My father taught me to protect those I love and to always put them first. But Kammes shattered all of that. He taught me that to be happy, I had to be in power—of myself and of thosearound me.
Over the past few days, I’ve realized I have power over neither. First, it was Kellan and Cal forcing me to realize that I don’t hate Athelia. Maybe I don’t love her, maybe I do, but I definitely care about what happens to her. Iwanther, however much I’ve refused to let myself believe that.
Then… well, then Athelia had to bust open my chest and force me to feel things I told myself were wrong. Things that show weakness.
When I decided to make her move in with us, it was to remind Athelia who’s in charge here. To show her that she can win the occasional battle, but I’ll always win the war. Yet all it took was seeing the hope in her eyes earlier, and my resolve crumbled.
Somehow, in a mere moment, Athelia was able to flip a switch inside me. She brought me back to my roots—back to the man I used to want to be. I can’t change who I am now, but I can add to myself. Bring back the devotion my father had for me and my mother that I always wanted to mirror.
When Athelia asked me if I’d take everything back, I meant it with everything in me. It wasn’t enough, but I wasn’t expecting it to be. If I were in her shoes, I’m not sure I’d believe me, either.
I’m not even angry at her reaction. She can stay pissed at me for however long she wants to. Doesn’t change the fact that she’s mine.
With a sigh, I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the dark ceiling. My mind wanders back to the beginning of freshman year before everything fell apart.
How different would things be if I hadn’t believed Kammes? If we’d listened to Athelia instead of thinking she was manipulating us? Would we have stuck together throughout all of college?
My fingers curl into a fist. We would’ve. I would’ve made sure of it.
To think about the fact that we could’ve had her all along without causing her all that pain…
I’m not sure how we would’ve handled Kammes back then, but we could’ve come up with something. We could’ve protected her, even then.
There’s movement in the hallway, and then I hear the door across from mine close. I jump to my feet without thought and rip my door open.
But then I stop.
If Athelia wanted to be around me, she could’ve sought me out. Right now, I’m probably the last person she wants to be around.
Gritting my teeth, I lean against the doorframe and stare at her door. It’s a dark wood, just like the rest of the trim in the house.
All I want to do is rip it off its hinges. It’d be heartless, and she’d hate me even more, but I could do it.
The side of me that I created as a way to survive under Kammes’s control rages, telling me that I should. But the other side—the side influenced by another man—is much stronger. Much deeper.
I’d forgotten about it until today.
Quietly, I step across the hallway, wondering what Athelia is doing on the other side. I won’t invade her privacy—I’ve done enough of that—but I need to be close to her for a minute.
The soft sound of her humming reaches my ears, and I move closer. Even though she can’t hear me, I press my forehead to her door silently and whisper, “I’m so sorry, Athelia.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Athelia
