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“Athelia,” he chokes out, and finally, his thrusts slow.
I relax, thankful to not have to keep the spreader bar from pressing against the back of my neck anymore. As Wes comes, filling me with his hot cum, I watch him. His eyes are closed, his mouth partially open. He looks different in this moment—vulnerable.
“Wes,” I whisper.
With a strangled grunt, he opens his eyes and looks at me. Concern flashes across his features, and he gently removes the spreader bar from behind my head. When I groan in relief and start rubbing my legs, he instantly moves to undo the cuffs.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks once my ankles are free and he’s tossed the bar to the floor.
“Not more than I could handle,” I say, feeling a blush settle over my cheeks. “Or more than I liked.”
“Good,” he murmurs. He kisses me gently, although it’s a little messy considering we’re both sweaty and I’m trembling like a fucking leaf.
He lays on the bed with me for a minute as we catch our breath. It’s startling, how quickly he goes from fucking me like he hates me to holding me like I’m something he cherishes.
My heart aches as I feel myself drifting off into a light sleep. This is exactly what I’ve always wanted—to be fucked like a slut and then treated like a princess. It’s gotta be some cruel joke the universe is playing on me that I’ve finally found three men who satisfy my every need, and they’re my fucking bullies.
Not anymore,a quiet voice says in the back of my head.
That doesn’t matter,I chide.
I can’t deviate from my plan. How could I ever trust them? Why would I ever want to? It doesn’t matter if they’ve started treating me differently. That could change at any minute. All it would take is another misunderstanding, and we’re right back where we were three years ago.
It’ll never happen,I tell myself, my resolve hardening.I won’t let them in.
Chapter Forty-Four
Cal
The next couple weeks fly by so fast I get whiplash. I miss having Athelia in my bed every other night, but I’m glad she’s been giving Wes attention. Besides, it means that the times I do have her, I cherish them even more.
Before I know it, we’re packing up and heading to Athelia’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Wes and his mom got into a huge fight over the fact that he’d be out of town, but he doesn’t care much. It wouldn’t surprise me if, five years from now, they barely even talk.
As for Kellan, his parents are more understanding, especially since he promises them he’ll stay home for Christmas. And my family… well, let’s just say they wouldn’t have been expecting me anyway. I usually go to Kellan’s for the holidays.
Since Athelia needs to get her car inspected and she likes the mechanic her parents use, we take two cars—Wes’s and hers. Athelia requests that I ride with her, which makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. I think Wes and Kellan are a little disappointed, but they’ll get alone time with herlater.
Thankfully, Athelia volunteers to do the driving. Char gave us one last job before Thanksgiving break, and I volunteered to go with Wes last night. It was simple—take out a seemingly ordinary man and make it look like a home invasion gone wrong.
There was nothing too difficult about it, but I’m still exhausted. Every chance I get, I’ve been jumping on the opportunity to get out and do something. It’s the best way for me to get out all the pent-up anger inside me, and it keeps my mind off other things.
I can tell that Athelia is worried about me. So are Wes and Kellan, but they have the full picture, so they get what I’m doing.
This time of year, everything is more potent. More painful. The holidays remind me of the good times I should’ve had and the loving parents I always wish I’d grown up with. It just makes me bitter.
“How did the job go last night?” Athelia asks as we pull onto the interstate.
Over the past month, I’ve come to figure out what exactly she means with that question. She doesn’t want details and doesn’t want to know anything incriminating, but she wants to know how we felt we handled whatever obstacles we came across.
At first, I didn’t get why she asked if she didn’t really want to know, but then it clicked. What she actually wants to know is if we’re being safe.
And of course she does. Wes’s dad literally got killed doing what we do. I see the anxiety in her eyes whenever we head out, even though she tries to hide it.
“No issues,” I tell her. My hand is already resting on her thigh, and I rub my thumb back and forth. “It was easy, really. The driving took longer than the job itself.”
Staring at the road, Athelia bites her lip. Whatever she wants to say, she’s doing her best to keep it locked down.
“What?” I ask. If I can ease her worries, I’d like to.
