Page 179 of Ruined


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“What?” I stare at him in disbelief, waiting for a cruel smile to take over his face.

He can’t be telling the truth. Cal wouldn’t do that.

He would after what you did to him.

Kellan’s expression doesn’t change. This isn’t some prank or a ruse to get me to come back.

My heart stops.

“Kellan,” I whisper. “I never meant for him to…”

“Wes managed to stop him,” Kellan says. He sounds so tired. “Thelia, I… I know we hurt you. We don’t deserve a second chance, and we never did. But I don’t know what to do. We can’t leave him alone, and I don’t know how to make this better. Except…”

He won’t look at me as I realize what he can’t say.

Except you.

“Are you trying to manipulate me?” I ask. Can’t help it. “If you’re lying to me about this, I’ll never forgive you.Never,Kellan.”

“I’m not lying. I was done with you, Athelia. You paid us back for what we did to you, and you made your point. I’ll always want you—I’ll alwaysneedyou. But I won’t force you into something you don’t want. That would hurt me more than being apart from you.”

I search Kellan’s face, looking for any hint that he’s fucking with me. If they’ve gone back to their old ways, it’ll break me all over again, but he doesn’t look happy to see the heartbreak on my face.

He looks terrified.

“All right,” I say. “I’ll come back.”

I’m not sure how I’ll explain this to my parents, but I’ll come up with something during the drive. It only takes me a minute to pack a bag. I grab enough clothes for a week, and Kellan helps carry my laptop and textbooks out to his car.

Even as I step outside and lock the front door behind me, I feel like I’m making a mistake.

Is this what my life is destined for? One bad decision after another?

But I’ve been ignoring the invisible pull on my heart for the past two months. It’s been tugging, begging me to head back to Pemberton. I’ve been beginning to realize that it’s never going to go away.

“When did it happen?” I ask Kellan as he backs out of my parents’ driveway.

“This evening. Wes was with him when I left.”

This evening.It’s half past nine right now.

“You left right away.”

“It was the only thing I could do, okay? I’ve tried everything since Christmas. It’s like he’s locked himself away, Thelia, and neither Wes nor I can get him to come out again.”

My heart aches at the pain laced into Kellan’s words. He’s truly at his wit’s end. “What do you mean you’ve tried everything?”

“Everything! We can barely get him out of bed. Getting him to eat is twice as hard. He dropped out of school, he barely talks, he’s—”

“He dropped out of school?”

Kellan doesn’t answer right away, and the silence almost suffocates me. “He was failing all his classes,” he says quietly. “He hasn’t been working, either. His will to live is just… gone. Wes and I tried to be there for him, but he shut us out. We were hoping with time, he’d get better.”

Oh my god.

“Maybe we should’ve known this is where things would lead,” Kellan continues, his voice thick with regret. “I think neither of us wanted to admit it. We should’ve gotten him help weeks ago, but when we asked about therapy, he refused.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say softly.It’s mine.

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