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“Does he look at other women while with you? Text them? Entertain any ideas of the sort?” She just keeps the questions coming.
“No.” I repeat once more. “When I freaked out, he was calm and kind. He didn’t push me or get mad. He got out of my way and took me home when I asked, saying very little.”
“Was there ever a moment you didn’t feel safe with him?”
“The opposite, actually,” I state earnestly. “I’ve never felt safer in my life than when I’m with him.”
“Even more so than with your father?” She pauses her writing.
“Yes.”
Taking off her glasses, she locks eyes with me. “Talk to him, Alexa. It may take you a long way on your road to recovery. I’m not going to tell you that you won’t ever forget what you’ve been through, but someday, you’ll be able to look back and be amazed how far from that point in your life you’ve come. You’ll be stronger, more confident, and in a different place where you’ll feel safe and at peace once more.”
I still have a long way to go in rebuilding my confidence. Before Grant, I was a massive flirt. I saw a flash of that returnwith Miles. His lighthearted nature pulled it out of my long-forgotten personality.
“Do you think you can do that?” She asks what feels like one final question for the day.
“I think so.” I’m not completely certain until the time comes.
“Good. We’re done for the day, but I’ll talk to you in a couple of days. If he calls between now and then, answer and just talk,” she instructs.
“It feels like you’re giving me homework.” I stand.
She follows suit. “I kind of am.” She walks me out, and we set up my next appointment with her secretary before I leave.
There is a spring in my step that wasn’t there the first day I brought myself here after work. Getting into my car, I pull my phone out with my keys and find no messages.
Miles has been silent for the past few hours. He has attempted to contact me throughout the days separating us several times every hour. Panic hits me now along with the unbearable pain I’ve also kept from Leanne during our sessions.
What if he’s finally giving up on me?
The thought keeps me on edge on the journey back to Missy’s. By the time I’m pulling onto the street, I feel like I’ve driven on autopilot and panic that I may have ran a stoplight or two. But that isn’t what causes me to slam on the brakes feet before I can pull into the driveway.
It’s the person sitting on the porch, legs bent, arms braced, and head down with an unmistakable box of chocolates in hand that halts me.
Miles.
Forcing my foot off the brake, I pull into the driveway and carefully get out. Just based on the way he’s sitting screams defeat. I’ve done this to him. Shouldering my purse, I walk around the front of my car and don’t stop until I’m in front of him.
“Hi, Miles.”
Slowly, his hat-covered head lifts, and I’m pinned by those chocolate orbs.
“Hey, Alexa.” A sad smile lifts the corner of his mouth before he slowly stands. He brushes against my legs, stealing my breath in the process. “How are you?”
“I’m getting better.” I know it’s a cryptic answer, but it’s the truth. “I owe you an apology.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “That’s what I need to do. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“It wasn’t you, Miles.” Without much thought, I pick up his free hand and squeeze it between mine. “I’ve kept you in the dark about my past, which caused me to freak out. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me?”
My eyes begin to burn.
“You don’t even have to ask.” He steps into my space and wraps me in a one-armed hug. His chin rests on the top of my head. “I’ve missed you.”
There is no thought of it being too soon to miss each other the way we both obviously have. It is just what it is, and I think I can accept it.
“I’ve missed you too, but I’m scared, Miles.”
