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He’s right. I’m not, but I can certainly hope.
Chapter Eighteen
Alexa
“Will you knock it off?” Rylie grabs my arm, forcing me to stop my pacing. “I swear, you’re more nervous than I am.”
Missy moves around Rylie. She’s making sure everything is pinned in place and giving me a nod of approval before taking a step back to deem her daughter ready to walk down the aisle.
“Sorry.” Shaking my sweaty hands out, I whip around, and I’m instantly struck with a case of dizziness. “I am nervous.”
“I know, but it will be okay.” It’s laughable that the bride is doing her best to calm me. Grabbing my shoulders, she tries to gain my attention but the upset in my stomach won’t allow me to leave. “Just talk to him after the ceremony and go from there.”
I love how she gets me.
It’s much easier now that she knows all.
“One day at a time,” Missy adds, checking on me once more with the overassessing way only a mother can perfect.
“I’ve got this.” My dress still feels tight around my middle, but I can’t bring myself to say a word to any of them or the seamstress the other day. It would have led to wondering what’s going on with me even more, and I don’t want that on my plate either.
Aside from Rylie’s wedding in just a few short minutes, Miles is my main focus today. I’m going to do this.
I’m going to see Miles and not freak out about any of it.
“Of course, you do.” Rylie’s cheer nearly has the fragile band around my emotions snapping. I should be giving herthe pep talk she needs to marry Mason. I’ve never seen her so prepared in our time together.
“Thank you.” My voice wobbles.
“No, thank you for finally telling me everything and being my best friend.” I don’t flinch as she praises me. Missy, the mom of all trades, joins us as we embrace. She has been the somewhat silent pillar of warmth I’ve cried against a few times while missing my own.
“Okay, enough of this.” Carter saunters in, clapping his hands together and looking handsome in his military dress uniform. For some strange reason, I don’t bristle from head to toe with him this close. Knowing what he is doesn’t take away from the fact he has been as much of a big brother to me as he is for Rylie. “I don’t need a bunch of criers on my hands right now.”
“Oh, hush you.” Missy bats her son’s decorated chest. I’m not entirely certain what he does in the military, but it has allowed him to take off when he needs. At least, that’s what it seems like lately. “But he’s right. Are we ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” Rylie admits before scooping up her flowers. I follow suit and do the same with mine.
“See you out there.” Giving the family of three one last moment to be one, I head out the door and off to the front of the church, where I’ll be walking into the chapel.
I could feel Miles the moment I stepped out of the car in the back. I haven’t seen or heard him, but I know he’s here somewhere. Probably getting ready with Mason and Archer, just like I did with Rylie.
The doors are now closed, and organ music plays from the other side while voices mix with it, but I close my eyes anyway and let everything drown out. I focus on the beat of myheart and the steady intake of breath before slowly releasing it. My nerves settle, but the upset in my stomach is still pitching a fit. It hasn’t in the past few days, and I have no clue why—other than the anxiety I have put my mind and body through with thoughts of finally talking to Miles.
You can do this.
On my next intake, I smell him. The deep scent of pine that seems to follow Miles around like a cape or something just as crazy takes over my senses, yet I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. Heat, pleasurable warmth hits the exposed flesh of my arms and shoulders before a hand comes around and presses into my stomach.
I sway in my heels but manage to stay upright. The instinct to move away from a touch on my stomach isn’t there as Miles presses into my back, his breath on my neck.
“Rylie should be jealous.” His husky whisper sends shivers racing up and down my spine. “You’re the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Miles.” I mean for it to come out as an exhausted groan of dismay, but it comes out as a whimper instead.
“I’m right here, baby.” He pulls me closer. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“Please.” I whimper again but don’t try to push away from him. I can’t, and I honestly don’t want to. I feel more comfortable and settled now than I have in the past month.
“That’s what I’m supposed to say.” He groans, and it hijacks my body. Something that shouldn’t be welcomed in a church flutters through me. The pain I was constantly living in is gone. “I should be on my knees pleading with you to give me another chance. To promise to protect you from whateverdemons keep taking you away from me and give you the world you deserve to the best of my ability.”
