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As I left my car and walked to the front door, I tried to shake the nerves I felt. I had been to his house so many times in the past, I had no idea why I felt so nervous. Looking around, the place felt foreign for some reason, as though I was an intruder and didn’t belong.
I knew that was silly, too.
I had played in this very front yard with Lucy many afternoons, and I had long enjoyed the walks in the neighborhood around here. There wasn’t a thing about the place that really ought to be foreign to me. I wasn’t a stranger.
But I felt like I had a secret as I walked up toward the door, and while I hoped against hope Alex was going to be happy about the situation, I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something bad about to happen. I felt like I was about to get in trouble, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I stood for only a second while I waited for the courage to knock. Part of me didn’t even want to knock, and instead to just walk in. But, even with how close I felt to both Lucy and her father, I wasn’t going to intrude on them in that way. I had tobe invited in, and I hoped he wouldn’t be angry for both just showing up, and for what I was about to tell him.
After taking a deep breath, I knocked.
It was loud, and I didn’t know if my nerves had made me bang on the door harder than I intended or if it was ringing in my ears. Either way, I wasn’t ready for the person who opened the door, however, and as soon as I saw her, my mouth went dry.
The girl looked to be close to my age, perhaps a couple of years older. She was, however, incredibly beautiful, and she looked at me with disdain in her features. I tried not to take note of the fact she was wearing one of Alex’s dress shirts along with her hair being wet. If she was wearing any shorts under the shirt, I couldn’t see them.
And I was struck by how long and lean her legs were. I immediately felt way beneath her league, and I struggled to find anything to say. While I wanted to ask for Alex, the fact she had been bold enough to answer the door told me she must have some kind of authority here. Or why would he have allowed her to be the one to deal with visitors?
“Can I help you?” the young woman asked.
“Um, is Alex here?” I said in reply. “I’m the nanny. I’ve been watching Lucy for some time now, and there was something I needed to discuss with him.”
“Oh, you’re her?” the young woman asked. She wrinkled her nose and looked me over from head to toe as she did, and I didn’t want to even begin imagining what was going on in her head. I had a feeling I didn’t measure up to whatever standards she’d had in mind for me – as she clearly had heard of me before that moment.
“Yes?” I said, hoping she would elaborate some.
Instead, the woman just shook her head.
“Well, you won’t be needed anymore. Mama’s come home, and I can handle my own daughter, thank you. Whatever it was, problem solved,” she said.
I felt my cheeks flush a crimson red. I wasn’t even sure of the feeling I had wash over me in that moment.
Embarrassment?
Shame?
Anger?
But who would I even be mad at? Her for being here? Or Alex for not only having her here without telling me, but having her be the one to answer the door and handle things with me when I came over?
That thought was quickly replaced with the fact he didn’t owe me anything. I was the nanny. He had hired me to take care of his daughter while he worked. While he spoke of his ex-wife only occasionally, he never gave me the story of what was going on with her, and I hadn’t asked, either.
Perhaps they were working things out. Perhaps he had gotten back with her. I didn’t know. All I knew was that the woman was wearing his shirt and answering his door, and she now held up her hand and made a brushing motion with her fingers.
“Shoo,” she said. “If there’s anything more owed, he’ll handle the final bill when it comes.”
I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. I had no idea what to say to this woman as I had never before been treated in this way. I was horrified, but also hurt. Not knowing what else to do, I simply thanked her and turned to head back to the car. I had never felt so ashamed in my entire life.
I didn’t know what I had even thanked her for.
Dismissing me? Sending me away like I was some bother to her? And was she the family issue that Alex had texted me about? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I had to talk tosomeone, and the only one who came to mind in that moment was Angela.
“Morning sis,” she said, answering her phone. “Did you talk to Alex?”
“I tried to,” I told her. “But as it turns out, there’s been a change in his situation, and I have no idea what to do now.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
I quickly filled her in on the interaction I’d just had with Lucy’s mother.
