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“Do you have friends around?” I asked directly after I searched the crowded bar without any luck.
She giggled. “Why? Do you want to get out of here?”
“I do, but like, alone,” I said. “I don’t want to abandon you, though.”
“Then take me with you,” she said.
“No,” I replied, and before I could stop her, she stepped forward to kiss me.
I put my hand up, stopping her. “Look, I have a girlfriend. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not interested.”
“You said yourself she’s not here,” the woman replied. “And she doesn’t have to know.”
“You’re absolutely right,” I said. “She’s not here. So, I’m going to take off myself.”
“Wait,” she tried, but I had had enough.
I figured she had her friends around. She was acting comfortable in the venue, telling me it wasn’t her first time there, and I could tell she was on the hunt for someone to go home with. She was a lot younger than me, which made me think she wasn’t going to have too much trouble finding someone to entertain her for the night.
But, even if she didn’t, that was up to her to figure out. I had only one woman on my mind, and I wanted to see her. Cassie was back home with my daughter, and together, they were the two most important girls in my life.
I was sure the girl at this bar could find someone easily enough. And I hoped, for her sake, she did.
All I knew was that it wasn’t going to be me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Cassie
Ihad mixed feelings when I checked my phone for the last time.
It was late, and I hadn’t heard from Alex all day. Not since I hung up on him earlier.
I knew it wasn’t the most mature way to end the conversation, but it was the most reasonable thing that came to mind since he was clearly in a rush. I was still tightly wound after the argument when he was leaving, and that put me over the edge.
I knew I was being sensitive toward him, and it didn’t help that I was dealing with the surging hormones. Throwing into the mix, I had to make sure I was happy and acting normally in front of Lucy, which only added to the stress I was feeling. She didn’t need to know I was arguing with her father.
After all, with what she had been through already with her mother, I didn’t want her to worry that there was going to be something bad between Alex and me. Something that would make me go away, too. It would break my heart for her to think I would leave like that, though I was already wondering in the back of my own mind what to do with the way Alex was behaving.
I had taken Lucy back to her house in the afternoon, and we had spent the rest of the day playing and hanging out together. I tried not to think about how it felt so normal. So much like I was the nanny again, and I was just keeping her company while waiting for Alex to get home.
So much had changed in so many ways, but at the same time, nothing had changed at all, and it was difficult for me to even wrap my mind around it.
By the time I was putting her to bed that night, I was wracked with guilt. I wanted to call Alex again and tell him I was sorry twice over, but I held back. It hadn’t gone so well the first time I called to apologize, so I worried if I were to try it again, I would just make things worse. And I wasn’t sure if I could handle things getting worse on that front. He was the first boyfriend I had had in years; I didn’t want it to turn into just a fling.
“Is Daddy coming home tonight?” Lucy asked as I helped her into bed.
“No,” I said. “But he’s not going to be gone very much longer. I bet you we’ll see him tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I forced a grin. I wasn’t sure, but I would deal with it then if I was wrong.
“Yes,” I said. “He is only going to be gone for a couple of days, and we already made it through one day. So, one more, and he should be home, right?”
“Right,” she said.
I wasn’t sure how much she believed that, but she went to bed all the same. I chose her favorite book to read to her as she fell asleep, then I laid down next to her. I was tired, and I didn’t even realize I myself was falling asleep until I woke up with a start.
