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“I know, I know, I’m terrible,” I said. “I just don’t want to ruin what we have going.”
“As if hiding the pregnancy isn’t ruining it,” she rolled her eyes.
“Well!” I said. “If he’s going to run away when he finds out, I want it to last as long as it can now.”
“You’re making it worse on yourself,” Teresa said. “Think about it. If he runs, he might be running because of how long it took you to tell him. You don’t want to be the kind of partner that sneaks around. You want to be up front and honest, right?”
I sighed. I knew as soon as I brought up the fact I hadn’t told him that I was going to get the lecture. At the same time, I knew I deserved it. It wasn’t right for me to keep hiding this from him, and the longer I did, the more I was setting myself up for him to be angry with me when he did find out.
“She’s right,” Angela said. “You’re being selfish, and you’re only thinking of yourself right now. You need to put on your big girl panties and do the right thing, Cassie. Really.”
“Alright,” I said with a sigh. “He’s getting back in town tomorrow night and we already made plans for me to come over.”
“And you’re going to tell him then?” Angela asked. “I’m kind of having a tough time believing you’re really going to tell him for some reason.”
“Gee, I wonder why,” Teresa chimed in.
“Okay, okay, I get it!” I said. “I’m going to tell him. I know he’s got something planned because he’s already arranged a playdate for Lucy, so it’s only going to be the two of us in the house. I’ve been wanting to tell him when we’re alone.”
“Probably for the best,” Angela agreed. “Though I know you’ve had the chance before now to tell him.”
“You don’t have to rub it in,” I sighed. “I’ll tell him.”
“It’s okay to be scared,” Teresa said. “And you know no matter how it goes with him, we’re here for you. It’s not like you’re going to be faced with doing this alone.”
“But that’s just the thing,” I said. “I am going to do it alone. If he’s not with me, then it’s just me and the baby. I know you two are here for me and Gigi would do what she could to help me, but at the end of the day, what am I going to do if he doesn’t want to have a baby with me?”
“You’ll do what you always do and make it work,” Angela said. “You know there’s a reason why we have both looked up to you all this time. It’s not just because you’re the oldest. You have always been the one who knows how to take care of things. We admire that in you.”
“She’s right,” Teresa said. “And you know we are both here to help you in any way we can.”
“Thanks girls,” I told them. “It does mean a lot to me to know you’ve got my back. Even if I have been stubborn about when I’m going to tell him.”
“Anxiety makes it hard, I get it,” Angela said. “But you can’t let it rule your life. I think you’re going to be a lot happier when you finally do tell him, because at least then you’ll know how it’s going to be.”
“She’s right,” Teresa said. “It’ll take the anxiety out of the equation. I’ve always found even when things don’t go the way I would like, at least when I have an answer, it takes away a lot of the stress I feel over not knowing how something is going to work out.”
I nodded. I was scared things were going to fall apart between Alex and me, but she did have a point. Once I had my answer, I would have my answer. If it wasn’t what I was hoping for, at least then I could figure out what was next.
“So how should I go about it?” I asked. “I’ve gone over this a thousand different ways in my brain, and I can’t come up with the right way to do it.”
“I would do it as soon as the moment feels right,” Angela said. “Don’t worry about exactly how. Just go with the right time.”
I nodded. “I guess it’s a good thing for me to have all day to get ready for it. If I’m going to put my relationship on the line, you better believe I’m going to take the time to look good before I do.”
“That’s the spirit!” Angela laughed. “And keep reminding yourself that you are a strong, beautiful, independent woman who doesn’t need a man in her life. You can do this on your own if you need to.”
“I hate that thought,” I told her. “I don’t want to do this on my own. I want to be with Alex. The whole reason I haven’t said a word about it yet is because I love him, and I’m scared I’m going to lose him.”
“I know honey,” Angela replied, her tone gentler. “All I’m saying is that this is going to be okay. Keep that in mind. It’s going to be okay.”
I nodded. She was right. No matter what happened, this was going to be okay in the end. I knew it would be. My sisters and I had already been through so much in our lives, and we were still okay, this was just another bump in the road.
I still had a stomach ache when I thought about what he might say, but I reminded myself to maintain a positive outlook over the entire thing, and to remind myself no matter what, this was all going to work out in the end.
I had my sisters beside me, and at the end of the day, I loved Alex. I didn’t think he was the kind of man who would leave me over finding out I was pregnant. He was such a good father to Lucy, and he knew me.
He knew I wasn’t anything like Jordan, and I would never try to take advantage of him the way she had.
