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“You cheated with your boss. Yourmarriedboss. Don’t you think that’s something you should’ve shared with me?”
I laugh mirthlessly and shift my eyes to the floor for a moment. “Of course you think I did it.” I say the words more to myself than to him, but I know he hears them.
I have no idea where he got his information. But it hurts, knowing he automatically believed the worst of me from a few rumors. Without even asking me or giving me the chance to explain. That stings more than the sight of him with his ex.
This is my past, suffocating my present.
And I’m suddenly done with this entire conversation. I’m done with this vacation and this place I’ve been lost in. The one I can’t seem to escape.
I start to back away. “Well, look at it this way,” I say. “It’ll make it easier for you to run away. That’s what you’re doing … right? You’re bailing because we got too close. I felt the shift as soon as I told you about the job possibility. Well, you’ll be happy to know I haven’t heard from them yet. So, you don’t have to try so hard because there’s a good chance I’m going to be gone anyway. And you don’t need to use your ex to get your point across, although maybe that’s the fun part. Sheisgorgeous.”
He stands there, silent and still, with his eyes flitting between both of mine. Like he’s trying to discover the truth.
“Not that it matters …” I continue. I’ve bled out. The fight has left my body. I’m almost at the end of the hall now. “But I never had an affair with Dr. Cooper. He wanted to. He pushed for it. And I considered it. But I never did it.”
I’m glad I can say that with complete honesty. It’s a relief. Somehow, I still feel completely broken.
I turn my back on Zane and walk to the bar to discover that Wyatt has already paid my tab when I stop to settle up. He’s playing pool with Benji across the room. I don’t go over to the corner to say goodbye to the guys. I just leave. I’m aching for solitude and silence. But I push my needs aside when I hear footsteps behind me a minute or two later. This time, it isn’t Zane who walks me home. It’s Wyatt. He catches me right before I turn the corner.
We talk about nothing as we walk the short distance to my house. He hugs me goodbye on my front deck, and I hold on for a minute longer than I intended to. I guess I’m searching for comfort wherever I can find it. I kiss his cheek before locking the door behind me.
With my back against the wall, I stand there in the dark, in my temporary living room that isn’t really my home. And then I slide to the floor, my vision blinded by the tears I finally let fall.
And I break.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ZANE
EARLIER THAT SAME DAY
“Mom,” I yell into the house as I enter through the front door. “Are you here?”
I move down the hallway and into the living room.
“Zane, is that you?” My mom’s voice rings out to my right.
She comes into view as I move around the corner and into the kitchen of my childhood home. She has a phone cradled between her shoulder and the side of her head.
“Cynthia,” she says into the receiver. “I need to call you back. Zane’s here.” Pause. “Yes.” She smiles. “Okay, I’ll tell him. Talk to you later.”
She ends the call and sets the phone on the counter before walking over to give me a hug. “Cynthia says hi.”
Cynthia is a friend of my mom’s.
My arms surround her slight frame, and I frown when I feel how skinny she is. “Mom, have you lost more weight?”
She waves me off as she pulls away and sees the concern on my face. “I’ve just been working out more lately. You know how much I love those Pilates classes.” She moves around the island to remove two glasses from the cabinet. “I have lemonade. Do you want a glass?”
“Sure,” I say, allowing her to shift the conversation.
I sit in one of the chairs surrounding the table in the corner of the room, and I watch as she fills two glasses full of the sweet yellow liquid, my forehead furrowing when I see how thin she looks.
My mom has always stayed in shape, working out and watching what she eats. But she’s taken it to a new level in the past two years. An unhealthy level. Ever since she found out my dad was having an affair with his secretary. A messy divorce followed. My relationship with him suffered in the aftermath. Mom sank into a depression. And watching her now, I don’t think she’s moved past it all yet.
“What have you been up to?” she asks, taking the seat across from me after handing me the drink.
I take a couple of gulps before answering, “I stopped by the coffee shop and the bank this morning. Checked in with James about the new addition we’re adding to the hotel next month. Just business.”
