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“Where was that professionalism the last few weeks we worked together?” he counters.
And to be truthful, he’s not entirely wrong. I wasn’t always on my best behavior those last few weeks. I think about the arrows I shot at him. Like the time in the clinic, when he was on a private call for a good twenty minutes while I continued to see patients. When he hung up the phone, I asked him which woman he was talking to—his wife or his mistress. My vitriol wasn’t well received.
“I was angry. And hurt,” I admit.
He’s quiet. He’s never been good with confrontation, which strikes me as odd since he’s so confident in other realms. But he’d rather tuck tail and run than be forced to answer for his actions.
“You became obsessed with me,” he says.
My eyebrows rise on my forehead as he gaslights me. It would be interesting to know how many people he’s told that lie to. Like I was the problem all along. I’m sure Jeff is on that list and probably many more.
I’m obsessed with him?
I huff out a laugh, but don’t bother to respond. He’s already shown his true colors. I’m sure he’s convinced himself of that fabrication. But I know the truth.
Someone once called Dr. Cooper a sociopath, and I’m starting to think it’s an accurate description of the man. A sociopath is defined as a person who has difficulty understanding or empathizing with others and often breaks the rules and deceives people. He definitely doesn’t think the rules apply to him. And he often seems unrepentant of his actions, no matter who he hurts.
Like right now.
If I were a betting woman, I’d put all my money on him still being entangled with Casey even though his wife is aware of the affair now. And I doubt if his wife will divorce him. I’m just glad I’m no longer in the middle of it all.
“On that note,” I say, “I’m going to get off the phone. I have work tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he says.
There’s a note in his voice I can’t quite place. Maybe it’s regret or longing. Or maybe he just misses me. Somehow, I no longer care. I no longer need his attention.
We end the conversation.
I lie in the dark room, staring at the ceiling, seeing Dr. Cooper in an entirely different way now. I respect his surgical abilities. I respect him as a doctor. But that’s where it ends. I’m so relieved to be out of his tangled web. For the first time in over six years, I feel truly free.
I take a deep breath, roll over, and fall into a sound sleep.
And the next time he calls, I don’t answer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
ZANE
You can’t fall for someone in just a few days … right? It’s not long enough for some random woman traveling through my town to make a genuine impact on me and my life. It’s never happened before. Except that’s not true. It isn’t too short. And you can fall for someone that quickly. Because it happened to me. And Lo is not some random woman. She’s incredible. Amazing. And no matter how far I tried to run from it or how much I denied it, I still feel it. For her. Even when I didn’t want to.
Second chances. You make a mistake, and you try again. You apologize, and you get a do-over. But not with her. Not with Lo. She shut me down at the bar. One and done. There are no second chances for me.
I was sincere about being sorry. I regret hurting her, and I regret losing her even more. But there was a lot I didn’t say. I never told her that I was scared of the way she made me feel. Howmuchshe made me feel.
I took the first negative thing—the possibility that she’d had an affair with her married boss—and I ran with it. I perched on my high horse, and I judged her for sins she never even committed. And I did that because I needed an excuse to bail.
But that’s the thing about running. Sometimes, you don’t get very far.
I’ve been going through the motions for a while now. I’ve been existing while not reallyliving. When Lo showed up, I had to face the facts.
My life had become empty. And I’d become a shell of who I used to be. My dreams were shattered when my knee popped and I went down that day in the snow. Everything I’d worked so hard for … everything I’d loved … was gone in an instant. And suddenly, I was directionless.
I put all my time and effort into rehabilitation until it became my sole focus. I worked hard to get back on my feet. At first, I didn’t believe them when they said my competition days were over. But eventually, not even my determined will could get me back on that board and on that half-pipe again. Not the way I wanted at least. And I was forced to face the reality that, sometimes, dreams didn’t work out the way we envisioned them. It’s the hardest lesson that life has taught me so far. But no matter how much I wanted things to be different, they never were.
I’m stubborn. That character trait is part of what put me on top of the podium competition after competition. It’s what made me the best. As soon as someone told me I couldn’t conquer a trick, I was determined to prove them wrong. And I always did. I became fearless when I was on that snow-covered course. I became something more than human. I defied gravity. I wasn’t just someone. I waseverything. The crowds shouted my name. Women fell at my feet. My peers wanted to be me. I was on top ofthe world. And in one false move—one bad landing—it all came crashing down.
I’ve mostly accepted my fate now. But I still have questions about myself. Who am I without snowboarding? What do I have to offer the world? What do I have to offer someone like Lo?
