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I hadn’t found the answers in the solitude I’d built in the time following my injury. And I didn’t find the answers at the bottom of a bottle, though I searched there for many nights after Lo disappeared from my life.
But I knew, without a doubt, when I walked up to my bench to see her sitting there, that the solution was right in front of me. She was staring me in the face with hurt swimming in those emerald eyes. I’m not the only one who put that hurt there, but I contributed to it. And now, she doesn’t trust me. She’s right to be cautious because trust has to be earned. And I shattered hers. I haven’t earned it back.
Yet.
But what is one of the top attributes of all elite athletes? Fortitude. And I have a lot of it.
When Lo turned her back and left that bar, I didn’t take it for the rejection it was. I took it as a challenge. And Ineverback down from a challenge.
She lit a flame in me the first night we met. It simmered beneath the surface the first time I kissed her lips. And it blew up into an inferno each day we spent together, even before I fully realized it.
At some point, it’s a choice to keep drowning in despair. It becomes a decision to live a life alone, wallowing in what could’ve been. It’s safer that way. I can’t be hurt if I don’t put myself out there.
But the thing is … where there’s no risk, there’s no reward. And I’ve never been one to fade into the shadows. I’m burning now. No matter what I do, I can’t stop the fire. I’m alive again for the first time in a while. There’s renewed purpose coursing through my veins. And I’m not going to stop until I get her back. Because she’s worth it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
WILLOW
I looked up the meaning of my name recently. Most of the definitions revolve around the willow tree. Willows are often associated with pain, struggle, and endurance. But the spiritual definition is the one that stuck with me the most. It speaks of growth, resilience, and emotional healing. It’s strange how fitting both of those definitions are for the past six or seven years of my life. The more time that has gone by, the more the spiritual meaning resonates with me. But I’ve realized something recently. It’s the pain, struggles, and endurance that lead us into growth, resilience, and healing. You can’t have one without the other. And as much as I’d never ask for the difficult times, I wouldn’t trade coming out on the other side of them for anything. Because it’s what makes me …me.
Being here, in this small mountain town, feels like a rebirth. A new beginning. It’s like I’m finally where I was meant to be.
I glance down at my phone again to see the screen blank. No new texts. The shop is busy with people looking at snowboards and snowsuits and ski equipment.
A twenty-something year old man with shoulder-length brown hair approaches me. His eyes are rimmed with red, like he partied too hard last night. But there’s an easygoing smile on his face and a twinkle in his dark brown irises. “Hey there. Can I help you find something?”
“Nope,” Benji interrupts before I can speak as he practically jogs around the corner. “This one’s ours.”
I smile as Benji moves closer, and his hands land possessively on my shoulders. He kisses my cheek.
“Hi,” I say to him.
“Look at you, little snow bunny,” he murmurs, his eyes running from my face, down my snowsuit, and to my boots.
“Just the look I was going for,” I joke.
“This is Lo,” he introduces me to the stranger. “Lo, this is Pablo.”
“Hi,” I say with a little wave.
“Nice to meet you, Lo.” The stranger tips his chin and takes a step closer. “You know, if you want to learn how to snowboard, I’m your guy.”
“This is the last guy you should let teach you anything,” Wyatt quips as he walks into sight. He leans over to place a kiss on my other cheek when he’s close enough. “He’s still high from last night.” He whispers that last part next to my ear.
I laugh and my breath hitches when I see Zane walk in behind him, looking like a wet dream in red-and-black gear. He’s holding a black beanie in one hand and a pair of gloves in theother. His hair is messy. Warmth gathers in my lower stomach at the sight of him.
No wonder all the women are chasing him.
I freeze for a moment, wondering if things will be awkward between us after the other night. He runs his fingers through his thick brown locks and smirks when our eyes meet. I tilt my head when I see the challenge in his eyes. And the flirtation lying there. I wasn’t expecting that, not after I rejected him.
I’m the first one to look away.
“Are you ready for your lesson?” Wyatt asks.
“Yep,” I say with a smile. I wasn’t nervous before, but I am now that Zane’s here, looking at me like that.
Benji and Wyatt agreed to teach me how to snowboard today. I didn’t know Zane would be here, too, but the sudden butterflies in my stomach say I’m glad he is.
