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I make her a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallow cream on top that I got from the grocery store the other day. But I start a war when I smear some of it on her neck. The blankets end up tangled around our legs with her moaning beneath me on the couch as I paint her body with the sweet, sticky substance, just to lick it all off.
We shower together afterward, and I ravish her in my bed. The physical stuff between us is electric and easy for me to lose myself in. Obviously. But what’s surprising are all the little, unexpected things that light me up these days. Like right now, lying in the dark and listening to her rhythmic breaths as she sleeps in my arms. And I wonder how cold my bed will feel on the nights she isn’t here.
That space inside my chest that was empty for so long is full now. My ordinary life has more meaning. I look forward to waking up every morning just to see what she’s going to say or do next. Those short, meaningless encounters I indulged in for so many years feel extra empty and hollow. Willow hit me right in the center of my chest until I was hemorrhaging and feeling things I never expected to feel.
And now, nothing will ever be the same.
I’mnot the same.
Thank goodness for that.
EPILOGUE
WILLOW
It’s spring, according to the calendar, but Mother Nature hasn’t gotten the memo yet. There’s a fresh layer of snow coating the ground of my small backyard. I can imagine the space with lush green grass and flowers around the deck. But I guess I’ll have to wait a little longer to see it. Such is mountain life. It’ll just make me appreciate the warm days even more.
I closed on this three-bedroom house about a month ago. I had known this was the one when I first walked across the threshold. Zane knew it too. I guess it had been written all over my face. I’ve been told I don’t have much of a poker face. But I love the wide-planked cedar floor and the granite countertops in the kitchen. It has an open floor plan with the living room and kitchen combined into one space. The back wall of the main room has large windows and plenty of natural sunlight. I made an offer the day after touring the space, and the place was mine within the week, though I had to wait a while to officially get the keys. And Zane helped me negotiate the price down.
I’m all moved in now, and I finally have every room furnished. It’s starting to feel like my space, though there are still small decorative things I want to do.
My mouth waters when I smell the lasagna cooking in the oven. It’s my mom’s recipe. I’m having the guys over for dinner tonight. A housewarming of sorts. I invited Nadia and her husband too. And a few of my new coworkers. Slowly, I’m making more friends in town. I’m starting to feel at home here and less like an outsider, visiting.
I walk over to the kitchen and start slathering butter and garlic along large loaves of crusty bread. Those will be the last to go into the oven, but I want to have everything ready. I’m washing my hands at the farmhouse sink when there’s a knock at my front door. I check the time. There’s still an hour or so before everyone should arrive.
Zane has his back to me when I open the door. He glances over his broad shoulder.
“Hey,” I say, stepping to the side. “Come in.”
He turns, and my eyes widen when I see what is cradled inside his arms. A puppy. A warm, squirming yellow Labrador retriever.
“Is that yours?” I squeal.
“Nope,” he answers while walking past me. “He’s yours.”
“Are you serious?” I practically yell.
He nods with that signature smirk on his face that floors me every time I see it.
I take the puppy from his arms and wrap him in mine. The little guy licks my face, his breath sweet.
“Is he really mine?” I repeat.
I sit in a chair with the pup in my lap so I can see him better.
“If you want him.”
Zane knows I got a house with a fenced backyard because I want a dog. And he’s watched me look online at Lab puppies for the past few months until he was sick of the searching. I didn’t realize he was paying such close attention to my quest though. I thought he was just humoring me when I made him look at picture after picture. I was waiting until I got settled into my space to get a little guy.
“I can’t believe you did this.” I set the puppy down on the floor and watch him explore the space.
“Is that a goodI can’t believe you did this?”
I stand and walk closer to him, sliding my arms around his shoulders. I kiss him, long and hard.
“He’s just what I wanted. Thank you,” I whisper against his mouth. “I love him.”
He looks pleased as he smiles down at me. “I brought some supplies. Food. A couple of dog toys.”
